Split & Deviate
by DarthLoon
Summary: Yumichika finally reveals the true nature of his Zanpakutou to Ikkaku.
1. Prologue

So this was the end. Yumichika expected it to be much more painful than this. Surprisingly though, he didn't feel much of anything. He was numb. He didn't have a reason to feel anymore, now that it was over. Perhaps the pain would come later, once the realization of the end settled into his mind. But for now only numbness consumed him.

He must have looked hideous, walking so mechanically like this. Not an air of grace in his step. Oh well. Looking ugly was much less of a punishment than he deserved. He deserved to be the most hideous thing in all of Soul Society. No, not even that would be enough.

_Your whining is incredibly irritating. You should be proud of what we accomplished today._

The 5th Seat of the 11th Squad was not surprised to hear Ruri'iro Kujaku butting into his thoughts.

_It felt so good to release my true power. And I would have been angry with you, Yumichika, what with you stifling me with that wisteria nonsense all the time. But you know the reason I assented to revealing myself this time, don't you?_

Of course Yumichika knew. The true release of his Shikai had never been more powerful than it was today.

_I had a worthy spectator. One who was not my enemy. That has certainly never happened before. And I'm sure I was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. I even got poor, shattered Houzukimaru to wake up and ogle at me. Ah, it feels so wonderful to be admired for my beauty._

Yes, Yumichika used to think that too. But there's really no point in looking beautiful if the one you try to look beautiful for can no longer stand the sight of you.

_Oh please, _the Zanpakutou groaned. _If my beauty disgusts him that much, there's no need in having such blasphemous thoughts around anyway._

"Please be quiet." The sound of his own voice was foreign to him. Yumichika barely recognized it. Nonetheless, Ruri'iro Kujaku obeyed and remained silent, leaving the Shinigami's mind empty and barren. Numb.

Without thinking, Yumichika lifted his hand to his face, digging his fingernails into the skin directly under his hairline. Once satisfied that they were deep enough, he raked them diagonally down his forehead, over his eyelids and nose, all the way down to his jaw line, letting the pain numb him even further. Streams of blood trickled onto his neck.


	2. Chapter 1

Unohana Retsu had seen many strange things in all her years of being a healer. Humans with phenomenal spirit energy, capable of defeating the most vicious of enemies, for instance. Hollowfied Shinigamis, faked deaths, betrayals… Soul Society had always been full of surprises. However, nothing much surprised her anymore.

But as she walked along a quiet hallway, she knew something was not right.

As if things had not been strange enough when Ayasegawa Yumichika carried a severely wounded Madarame Ikkaku into the Squad Four relief station. His face had been emotionless.

"_Hollows. Dozens of them. And a Vasto Lordes. Ikkaku defeated them, of course. Please heal him."_

And once he'd deposited the profusely bleeding bald man onto a nearby bed, he'd left. At the time, Retsu couldn't afford to worry over the strange behavior of Zaraki's 5th Seat. The healing process for Ikkaku had to begin immediately. And after a few hours of hard work, the job was done. He would recover.

But something strange had happened during the healing process. Of course, Retsu did not voice her confusion. It was, after all, not something that would affect the healing process itself, and therefore was not significant enough to fret over in front of her subordinates.

That strange trace of reiatsu lurking within Ikkaku… It was neither congruous with his own nor was it like any other Shinigami's. What it resembled most was the spirit energy of a Hollow, and more specifically, that of a Vasto Lordes. Although the thought struck her that perhaps Ikkaku might be undergoing Hollowfication, the idea seemed farfetched. This foreign reiatsu was not hostile, unlike the Hollow energies dwelling inside those few Visored Shinigami. No, it was far from hostile. Just the opposite, in fact. It was as if the Hollow reiatsu was working to heal rather than hinder.

But that couldn't be. It was impossible. The way it worked was vaguely reminiscent of certain advanced Kidou techniques only the most experienced Shinigami could perform. And Retsu knew very well that no one in Zaraki's squad would be caught dead using Kidou. Although, if anyone amongst those war-craving men could perform the spells, it was Yumichika. His spirit energy had always been different from his companion's. More guarded and controlled, as if waiting to be released in a glorious burst of power. But even if Zaraki's 5th seat could perform Kidou, it was very unlikely that he knew such advanced techniques.

Retsu sighed. "There must be an explanation."

x.x.x

"Re-chan says Pachinko-head will be better in a few days!" Yachiru exlaimed, perched in her usual spot on Kenpachi's left shoulder.

Renji snickered. "Good, then I can kick his ass for letting himself get knocked around by a goddamn Vasto Lorde."

"You do know that Vasto Lorde are the highest and most powerful class of Hollow, don't you?" Rangiku chided.

"Hollow's a Hollow. They're all scum," Renji declared.

"Hey, has anyone seen Feathers?" the pink-haired girl asked.

"Yumichika? Haven't seen him," shrugged Renji.

"He's probably pissed at Ikkaku for hoggin' all the fun in their battle yesterday," Kenpachi said. "Give him a couple days to cool down."

Rangiku sighed. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm in the mood for some sake."

"When are you not in the mood for sake, Rangiku?" Renji groaned.

"Aw, you're just mad that I can do more sake bombs in a minute than you can do in an hour, Pineapple-head."

"What did you call me?!"

"Will you two stop your bitching?" Kenpachi groaned. "If you want sake so bad, let's go visit Kyoraku, eh? He's got the best in Seireitei."

As much as she liked visiting Shun-shun and his abundant stock of alcoholic beverages, Yachiru had something else in mind. She hopped down from Kenpachi's shoulder. "Hey Ken-chan, I'm gonna go find Byakkun!" she said deviously.

"Alright, brat. Have a good time bothering the snobby bastard."

Yachiru smiled up at her adoptive-father-figure before bounding off in the opposite direction, which also happened to be the opposite direction from the Kuchiki Mansion. This was intentional though, despite her lack of a sense of direction. It was true, berating Byakuya was one of her favorite pastimes. She usually amassed large amounts of candy during these expeditions. And although she was a child, she was very wise.

The 11th Squad had an unwritten rule that during battle, you control your true abilities in order to prolong the thrill of the fight. Yachiru was no exception. She'd been attached to Ken-chan for several decades now, and had learned a great deal just by watching him – mostly in the areas of sword combat and opponent provocation. But she'd also been in Soul Society long enough to grow a vast amount of street smarts. Very few knew about her expert infiltration skills, which she used for stirring up mischief. But beyond that, she was a very good judge of character.

And one character she knew very well was that of Yumichika.

Ken-chan was probably right when he said that Yumichika was angry with Ikkaku for hoarding all the excitement during their battle. But it wasn't like the 5th seat to sulk in the shadows about it, especially for an entire day or more. And since no one had seen Feather-face around, something had to be wrong.

Yachiru tapped her chin with her forefinger. "Hmm, if I were Feathers, and I was in a rotten mood, where would I go so nobody, not even Ken-chan, would find me?" she asked herself.

After a few more seconds of pondering, the answer came to her. "Ah ha!" she proclaimed triumphantly, setting off in yet another direction.

x.x.x

Stack, fold, file. Stack, fold, file. Stack, fold, file. Stack, fo – damnit.

A single sheet of paper escaped its neat pile and fluttered to the ground. Yumichika set the stack down mechanically and bent down to pick up the rogue sheet. As he reached for it, though, he couldn't bring himself to pick it up. He stared at it for a few seconds, remembering the graceful way in which it floated down through the air. A thick drop of blood suddenly landed amidst the slanted scrawl of the characters on the page.

When Yumichika noticed that the gashes on his face were still bleeding, and that it was his own fault the paper was now permanently stained with that offensive shade of red against the white and black, he dropped to his knees. He'd destroyed something beautiful…just by being near it.

He lifted it with gentle, shaky hands, feeling as though he'd fatally wronged it. And then another drop of blood joined the first. Yumichika felt sick. The numbness in his body rapidly washed away, only to be replaced by pain. His fingers curled into fists, crinkling the paper into an ugly, chaotic wad.

"I'm sorry...Ikkaku."

The pain came in agonizing waves, each one more devastating than the last. He doubled over into a crouched position, slamming his fists onto the floor. Tears poured mercilessly from his eyes. Crying was such an ugly thing to do, but he had to do it. It was his body's natural reaction to the pain he felt. Pain which he'd brought upon himself. Love was such a dangerous emotion.

Yumichika had always believed he was stronger than this. He was a member of the Eleventh Division, home to the fierce and fearless, the sadists and masochists. But in the end, he was nothing more than a weak, selfish coward.

Being on the verge of death was a normal occurrence for Ikkaku. It almost seemed like the man was as impervious to wounds as Zaraki himself. But Yumichika knew that wasn't true. One day, it would be too much. And Ikkaku would slip away forever. When that day came, Yumichika told himself, he would die as well.

Anyone able to kill Ikkaku would obviously be a worthy fighter. Yumichika would take up his friend's battle, inflicting as much suffering on the bald man's killer as possible before recklessly hurtling into death himself. This kind of death was not the beautiful one he'd imagined for himself, but if Ikkaku had died this way, then it was good enough for Yumichika. He would follow Ikkaku anywhere, even to their deaths.

This had been Yumichika's mindset for decades. He knew such events were inevitable, so he didn't waste energy worrying about them. It was enough just to enjoy the time he had left with his friend.

But that day that he'd prepared for…that day had been today. Ikkaku was closer to death than he had ever been before. And all Yumichika could do was stand and watch. Helplessly. The Vasto Lorde was just too powerful for Houzukimaru's Bankai, and Ikkaku's spirit energy was dwindling.

"_Ikkaku!"_

_The bald man staggered to his feet. "Shut the hell up, Yumi," he growled._

"_But…"_

"_I said shaddup, damnit! This is my fight! Don't you dare think about interfering!"_

"_Ikkaku, please… I…"_

"_If I die, I die! I'm a warrior, and I'll die with my pride intact!"_

_The Vasto Lorde swung at Ikkaku with its massive weapon, barely missing. But its other arm jutted out and snatched him up. Ikkaku cried out in pain._

"_Ikkaku, no!" Yumichika's hand gripped his sword's guard tightly. Tears built up in his eyes. "IKKAKU!"_

_The crumbling blades of Houzukimaru fell from Ikkaku's limp hand. They shattered when they hit the ground._

_There was a split second in which Yumichika had to make a decision. But this decision had been made long ago._

_Fuji Kujaku's blades sliced through the Hollow's arm in an instant. It dropped to the ground, freeing Ikkaku of its deadly grasp._

"_Split and deviate, Ruri'iro Kujaku…"_

_The sword gladly obeyed and burned a bright azure blue. Glowing vines shot out from the hilt, encasing themselves around the Hollow's body._

_It only took a few minutes for the flowers to fully bloom and the Hollow to cease its struggling. Before letting Ruri'iro Kujaku recede back into the hilt, Yumichika picked one of the glowing flowers from its vine. He pulled a single petal from the bloom and knelt down next to Ikkaku's bloody, battered body._

"_Yu…mi…" he grunted through his teeth._

_Yumichika pretended not to hear, just as he pretended not to notice the weak flickering of Ikkaku's eyes. He'd seen everything. Yumichika stuffed the petal into the bald man's mouth and forcibly closed his jaw._

"_Chew," he ordered, his voice venomous._

_Ikkaku groaned weakly, but did as he was told. Yumichika repeated the process once more just to be safe. That would be enough to ensure his survival until he could be brought to the Relief Station for treatment._

_Ikkaku breathed a little easier now, but was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Only a few more seconds went by before he lost consciousness completely._

_Yumichika stared at Ikkaku. His bare chest was covered in deep gashes, some of which stretched over his shoulders and arms. He wanted so badly to touch the damaged skin, to hold the broken body, to kiss the cracked lips. He was almost shaking with the urge. Ikkaku was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Even when he was covered in blood, dirt and sweat. He was animalistic to the core, filled with brute strength and raw power. Just watching him in battle brought out the basest of human desires in Yumichika. The way his body moved so freely and without second guesses…it was a flawless dance of carnage and bloodshed, a beautiful display of vicious might._

_But he refused to give in. He didn't deserve the pleasure._

_After gathering the hilt of Houzukimaru, Yumichika lugged Ikkaku's body off the ground and slung him over his shoulder, heading off in the direction of the Relief Station. _

Yumichika hated himself for saving Ikkaku's life, but he would never, _ever_ regret it. It didn't matter if Ikkaku hated him, if he never spoke another word to him, as long as he was alive. Because as long as Ikkaku was alive, Yumichika could follow him.

Of course, now he'd have to follow Ikkaku in secret – hiding in the shadows, crawling along rooftops, creeping through Seireitei. There was no pride left in him to damage, so this was a perfectly adequate way to spend the rest of his life. As long as he got to see Ikkaku…that sadistic grin, the masochistic twinkle in his eye. It was enough just to watch him fight. He was happiest when he was fighting, and Yumi wanted Ikkaku to be happy.

Yumichika would go to the ends of the earth to follow Ikkaku, much like Ikkaku went to the ends of the earth to follow their captain. He was very grateful to Zaraki for sparing Ikkaku's life that day in Rukongai. But at the same time, he was equally spiteful. Ever since that day, Ikkaku dedicated his life to that man. Everything he did was for Zaraki alone. Everything.

A horrid scream filled the space around him. Only when it stopped did Yumichika realize it had come from his own mouth. He let out another, louder, scream, this one shaking his very bones. He knotted his fingers into his hair, pulling as hard as he could, hoping that the physical pain would drown out the emotional. But it just wasn't enough.

Yumichika's sword was jutting uncomfortably into his stomach. Without thinking, he removed it, sheath and all, from his sash and hurtled it at a wall twenty feet away. It impacted with a loud crash and tumbled to the floor.

The Shinigami screamed once more, willing his throat to rip in half.

When he'd screamed out all of his energy, he fell back into a crouched position, his face pressed against the floor. It felt like a cold spike had been driven into his chest, and everything around it was slowly freezing over. The pain was unbearable.

Ruri'iro Kujaku sighed. _I'll pretend I hideously collided with the wall and floor of my own accord, then._

The Zanpakutou's fleeting moment of sympathy went unnoticed. Yumichika slowly sat up, placing a hand against the orange collar around his neck. The scars hidden underneath were ugly reminders of his physical incompetence. But the scars on the inside were much, much deeper. And they continued to haunt his dreams.

A light tingle suddenly caught his attention. Someone was here. Yumichika frantically pawed at his face, trying to rid it of the embarrassing tears. Once he discerned whose reiatsu it was, and that she was alone, he relaxed slightly. In a strange way, he was glad she was here.

"There you are," said Yachiru happily. Her voice wasn't the usual cacophonous shrieking. It was surprisingly calm.

"Hello, Vice-Captain. I was just doing some paperwork," he murmured.

She came and sat beside him, setting the bag she'd been carrying over her shoulder onto the ground. The pink-haired girl was silent for a moment, studying his face. "Did you get those scratches from your fight with the Hollows?" she asked.

Yumichika looked up and touched his wounds. He'd forgotten all about them. "Uhh, yes," he lied.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Well, the good thing is Baldy will be better in a few days."

Yumichika nodded, unable to meet her gaze.

"Are you mad at Baldy for something?"

He dug his fingernails into the floor. "No, no I'm not. He should be mad at me."

"How come?"

"I…did something very bad. Something I'm not ever supposed to do."

"Hmm," Yachiru mused. "It couldn't have been that bad if Baldy's still alive."

The spike in his chest drove itself ever deeper. Yumichika didn't know what to say.

"Well, whatever you did, Baldy should forgive you. That's what friends do, right? And you guys are best friends."

A lone tear fell from his eye.

Yachiru got to her feet and wrapped her arms around Yumichika's neck, pulling him into a hug. He was surprised at first, but returned the hug. A spark of warmth flickered inside him. It felt good knowing that somebody cared, that somebody was perceptive enough to realize something wasn't quite right.

When she let go of him, she smiled. "Don't cry. I brought some things to cheer you up!"

Yumichika blinked. "You did?"

"Yep! The first one was a hug. Everybody likes hugs! Even Ken-chan! Oh, whoopsy. No one's supposed to know that…"

Yumichika smirked. "I won't tell."

She moved over to the bag she had been carrying, fishing around for something deep inside. A large bowl of sweets emerged in her hands.

"Candy!" she said excitedly. "Candy always makes me feel better! Here, have as much as you want!"

Yumichika had never been very fond of candy. It threatened to blight his perfect figure; but besides that, he didn't much care for the taste. Despite all this, he grabbed a few pieces, unwrapped them, and popped them in his mouth.

Yachiru smiled in satisfaction as he chewed. "And finally…" She once again dove into the bag before reappearing with a massive box of crayons. "Coloring!"

"You…want me to color?"

She nodded fervently. "As your Vice-Captain, I order you to color with me! I love to color!"

Well, he certainly couldn't disobey a direct order. "If I have to…"

"Yay!"

She handed him a piece of paper, putting one in front of herself as well.

"Color anything you want, just make sure it's colorful, 'kay?"

"Alright."

Yumichika picked out the most brilliant shade of blue from the box and went to work. For a while, the only sounds were the scratching of crayons against the paper. It felt unbelievably relaxing to dump his emotions onto the white sheet.

"So…where's the captain?" he asked.

"Oh, he went to see Shun-shun with Big Boobies and Pineapple-head."

"Ah, sake night."

"Yep. So nobody knows I came here to see you."

"That was very sneaky of you, Vice-Captain."

Yachiru giggled. "I know."

"How did you know I was here?"

"Well, I just had to ask myself…if I were you, and I was in a rotten mood, where would I go so nobody would find me?"

His brow furrowed slightly. "And how did you know I was in a rotten mood?"

"Ken-chan, Big Boobies and Pineapple-head all said they hadn't seen you for a while. That only happens when you're in a bad mood."

"Hmm." Yachiru was more observant than most of Squad 11 put together.

"So then I remembered that no one ever comes into these archives, because no one from the 11th Squad but you ever does paperwork! So this was the perfect hiding spot! Oh, but before I came here I stopped and got the candy and crayons."

Perhaps she was more observant than the entirety of Squad 11. "You're a very sweet and clever young lady, Vice-Captain. I'm glad to be your subordinate."

"Aw, thanks Yumi! I'm glad to be your Vice-Captain!"

"You…called me Yumi," he realized.

Yachiru blinked. "It's your name, isn't it? I bet you get sick of me calling you Feather-face all the time. Look, I'm all done!" She held up her picture to show Yumichika. "Do you like it?"

There were four elaborately decorated stick figures standing in front of a house-shaped box with the number 11 on it. On the far left was the Captain, complete with an eye patch, spiked hair and disproportionately large bells. He wore a very believable smug grin. Next to him was Yachiru, her hair colored a brighter pink than its actual color. She appeared to be waving her sword excitedly in the air. Next was Yumichika himself. He was very pleased at how well she had drawn him. His hair was satisfactory, and she'd even included his eyebrow feathers and orange collar. The Yumichika on the paper looked happy. And standing next to him, on the far right, was Ikkaku, red streaks over his eyes. Yachiru had added a star to achieve the sparkle effect of Ikkaku's baldness. His sword was resting on his shoulders and his grin was…sadistic.

"Vice-Captain…that's amazing."

"You really think so?" she asked excitedly. "Can I see yours?"

Yumichika handed her his work, watching her eyes grow wide as they surveyed the chaos of colors on the page. "It's a bit abstract, but–"

"Wow, it's so pretty and colorful!" she interrupted. "This is way better than mine!"

"That's not true. Yours is very realistic. Mine is…" _a representation of my broken soul,_ "well, it's just different. You can have it if you want."

"I can?" she asked. "Oh, thank you, Yumi! It's the prettiest picture ever! How do you make everything look so pretty?"

He sighed sadly. "Beauty is nothing more than an illusion."

Yachiru looked at him curiously. "But you're always saying that ugly things are stupid and worthless."

Hearing those words from his Vice-Captain suddenly made Yumichika feel shameful. What the hell kind of role model had he been for the past century? "I was wrong. True beauty exists on the inside. In your heart."

"Hmm," she mused, thinking this over. "Do I have beautiful insides?"

He laughed. "Of course. You have both inner and outer beauty."

"What about you? Are your insides beautiful? They have to be, to match your outside!"

"It doesn't always work that way," he said sadly.

"You mean you don't think your insides are pretty?" she asked, confused.

"Not really, no."

Yachiru furrowed her brow. "Do you remember the first time you and Baldy met me and Ken-chan?"

How could he forget? "Of course."

"Baldy and Ken-chan were having so much fun fighting each other. But Ken-chan was going to win, because no one can beat him. Not even Baldy. And you were worried about Baldy, weren't you?"

He stared at her.

"I could see it on your face when I told you the fight was almost over. You were scared that your friend was going to die, huh?"

"Y-Yeah. I guess I was."

"See? That proves your insides are beautiful too, because you care about your friend."

"Can I ask you something Vice-Captain?"

"Sure! What is it?"

"If you were watching the captain fight, and you were absolutely sure that…that he was about to be killed in battle, what would you do?"

An alarmed look suddenly spread across her features.

"Would you stand there and watch him die?"

"I would never want to watch Ken-chan die!" she said, her eyes filling with tears. "But then…if I helped him, he'd be angry. He'd never forgive me for taking away his honor as a warrior!"

Yumichika looked down at his hands. "I see."

"I'd probably save him anyway, though."

The sudden change in her tone from serious to light-hearted almost knocked him over. He looked up to find her smiling. "You would?"

She nodded. "He's the reason I'm still alive. If he wanted, he could have just left me to die in that bloody forest all those years ago. But he didn't. So I guess I kind of owe him. How come you ask such funny questions?"

"Uhh, no reason. Just curious."

"Well, now you know!" she giggled, standing up. "It's getting late. I should probably go find Ken-chan before he realizes I'm not at Byakkun's. Do you want me to leave the candy here?"

"That's okay, you can have it."

"Good, I was gonna take it anyway," she giggled.

Yachiru stuffed the bowl of candy and the crayons back into her bag before carefully stowing away the pictures she and Yumichika had made.

"I'm happy you came to see me, Vice-Captain. It was very nice. Thank you."

A wide grin took up half of her tiny face. "You're welcome, Yumi. I won't tell anyone about your hiding spot, but they might start to get worried. So don't stay in here too long, okay? Bye bye!"

She picked up her bag, waved, and was gone in a pink flash.

The newfound silence sent an uncomfortable shiver down Yumichika's spine. Loneliness settled in around him. He brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on one. So the vice-captain would save her captain – not only out of gratitude for saving _her_ life, but out of love. Yumichika understood that, even if it hadn't been said aloud. That kind of love was acceptable, like a daughter to a father. That kind of love was unbreakable, even in the worst of situations. But a love that was unrequited and silent was never even breakable to begin with, because it never really existed.

Yumichika removed the collar from around his neck and slid his right arm out of the connecting sleeve. The bands of scars around his wrist were as pink and shiny as ever. He grew dizzy just looking at them. He pressed his palm to the skin over his collarbones. These scars were much thicker. He could still feel the blade digging into him, scratching against bone.

Ruri'iro Kujaku sighed again from across the room. _Do you really need to go there? Dwelling on the past isn't good for you._

"How would you know what's good for me?" the Shinagami hissed.

_You imbecile. What's not good for you isn't good for me, either. Recalling painful memories is a horrid process. Feeling sorry for yourself just makes you ugly and weak._

"I don't really give a damn anymore."

_Hmph, I can see that. Your face looks ghastly. Was that really necessary?_

"Go to hell."

_Ugh, I can't believe someone so pathetic is _my_ master. How humiliating._

"You don't know the meaning of the word," Yumichika murmured, letting his head fall onto his knees. The pain inside him had grown steadily worse. Before long, his chest would rip open completely, revealing to the world the frozen wasteland of his soul. Perhaps he'd die of a broken heart before Ikkaku even woke up. One could only hope.


	3. Chapter 2

His entire body was buzzing – from head to toe, inside and out. And all Ikkaku could do was lie here in the dark and think. The problem was, he didn't know what the hell to think. Countless emotions were pulsing through his veins, each one fighting for dominance. A war raged in his heart, wreaking havoc on his soul.

He wished he could move, wished he could get up and smash the hell out of something. The chaos in his mind was agonizing. Ikkaku clenched his fists so tightly, the muscles in his hands started to cramp. Good. The pain gave him something concrete to concentrate on.

"Madarame-san, you're drawing blood," came a gentle female voice.

Ikkaku's eyes moved to the doorway, where Captain Unohana stood with her hands clasped in front of her. He didn't know what it was about that woman, but she was ominously intimidating. She was like a perpetual calm before the storm…a really bad storm. When she approached his bed and reached for his hand, he had a fleeting fear that he'd have to live the rest of his life without that certain appendage. But she merely dabbed at it with a cloth, wiping the blood away.

"You've been very quiet since you awoke yesterday evening. Something is troubling you."

"So what?" he grumbled, his voice weak.

Retsu studied his frustrated expression and sighed. "When Ayasegawa-san brought you here, he told us you defeated the Vasto Lorde."

It felt like a heavy weight had suddenly been dumped onto his chest, crushing the air from his lungs. He couldn't breathe.

"But I know that to be false."

Ikkaku's eyes snapped back to the 4th Division Captain. Air rushed violently into his lungs again. "How?"

"Your expression just now. I wasn't entirely sure, but you've confirmed my suspicions."

She pulled a chair up to his bedside and sat down. How could her presence be so unnerving but so strangely _comforting_ at the same time? No wonder Captain Zaraki overstayed his hospital visits…

"Do you remember what really happened during that battle?" she asked.

Her voice was filled with pure sympathy. It sounded like music. "Yeah," he replied. Ikkaku was silent for several seconds. "You wanna know?"

"Only if you wish to tell me. I am here to listen."

Come to think of it, Unohana was probably the only person who wouldn't blow a gasket if he told her. He sighed. Perhaps this would give him a chance to sort through all the things rattling around in his head.

"I told Yumichika not to interfere. It was my fight but…it wasn't looking too good. That Hollow was kicking my ass. Before I knew it, I was staring my killer in the face. That's when everything went black."

Ikkaku took a deep breath before continuing.

"When I opened my eyes, it was so damn bright. There were vines everywhere, and they were glowing blue and green. I knew I had to be dead. Nothing like that existed in Soul Society. Then I saw Yumichika standing over me. The vines were…coming from Fuji Kujaku. I didn't know what the hell was going on. Next thing I know, Yumi's force-feeding me these god-awful glowing flower things. And that's all I remember before waking up here."

"Hmm," Unohana mused, her brow furrowed slightly. "I see. That accounts for quite a bit. Would you like me to explain?"

Ikkaku considered the offer. "No," he decided. "If anyone's going to explain to me what the hell that was, it's going to be him." _Even if I have to beat it out of him._

"I understand," said Retsu, smiling gently. "Oh."

"What is it?" he asked, suddenly weighing the possibility of death by Minazuki.

"Captain Zaraki has just entered the building. That man needs to learn how to control his reiatsu," she sighed, getting to her feet. "He's going to give someone a heart attack one of these days." She turned back to Ikkaku. "But don't worry. I'll be sure to teach your captain a lesson."

With that, she glided soundlessly out of the room.

Ikkaku gulped. "Fuck, she's scary."

Less than a minute later, the vice-captain's high-pitched voice was heard drawing near. "Pachinko's awake! Pachinko's awake!"

A pink blur appeared in the doorway, but disappeared just as fast, rematerializing dangerously close to Ikkaku's face.

"Hi ya Baldy!" she said happily, crouching down to peer at him while standing on his chest. Ikkaku winced in pain. "How're ya feeling?"

"I'd be better if you weren't reopening my wounds," he grunted.

"Oopsy, sorry," she chirped, leaping off of him and back onto the ground. "Hey Ken-chan, come see Pachinko-head!"

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming," came the gruff voice of the Captain. He appeared in the doorway, blocking most of the light spilling in from the hallway. "Well, shit," he sighed, having to stoop through the doorway so his spikes didn't hit the frame. "You sure look like hell."

Unohana's head suddenly poked into the room. "Did I hear you say something disparaging about the way in which Madarame was treated, Captain Zaraki?"

A genuine look of fear swept across Kenpachi's features before he slowly turned to face her. "N-No! 'Course not! He looks fantastic, really. I mean, compared to the bloody mess he must'a been in when he got here."

Unohana nodded approvingly before ducking back out.

Yachiru giggled. "Ken-chan has a crush on Re-chan," she whispered to Ikkaku. "She's the only person in the world who can scare him, and I think he secretly likes it."

"I heard that," Kenpachi grumbled, but in no way denying any of what Yachiru said.

"Wow, Captain," Ikkaku said. "I had no idea you went for the quiet, dangerous types."

"Shut the hell up before I poke another hole in your face."

"He'd do it, you know," Yachiru assured the bald man. "Then you'd have to stay in the hospital for a lot longer! Oh Ken-chan, that would give you a real good excuse to come here and see Re-chan! Maybe you _should_ poke a new hole in Baldy's face!"

Ikkaku was flabbergasted to see his captain actually considering the idea. "Tch, who says I need an excuse to come see her?" Kenpachi chided.

Yachiru grinned. "Ha! You really do like her!"

Kenpachi's nostrils flared as he glared down at the little pink-haired devil he'd rescued so long ago. "Pipe down, will ya?" he growled. "None of yer damn business."

Yachiru stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to Ikkaku. "Guess what, Cueball? I brought you something."

"Oh great," he mumbled to himself.

The girl reached into her robes and pulled out two brightly colored pieces of paper. "Here, I drew this one!"

She handed him the picture she had drawn of Kenpachi, herself, Yumichika and Ikkaku.

"Pretty good, huh?" she asked.

"It's not the worst thing I've ever seen," he said, surveying the strange looking stick figures. "Why are we standing in front of a giant box?"

Yachiru was not amused by this response. "It's not a box, stupid! It's the 11th Division barracks! Are you blind or something?"

"Looks more like a box to me."

"Well, your head looks like a baby's butt."

Kenpachi stifled a laugh. Yachiru snatched the drawing from Ikkaku's hand and shoved the other in his face.

"Here, Feathers made this one."

"Huh? When did you see him?" Kenpachi asked her.

Yachiru looked at him with an innocent expression. "I ran into him last night."

"You ran into him and just decided to color?"

"So what if we did?" she said defensively.

"No one's seen the fruit for three days. Where the hell was he?"

"Gee, I don't remember."

"What'd'ya mean by that? You guys freakin' colored! How could you not remember where you were?"

"Hey, you're just as bad at directions as I am, so don't make fun of me!"

"I wasn't making fun of you, I was just…oh, whatever," he sighed, giving up.

Yachiru gave him a distinct 'I win' smirk and focused her attention back on Ikkaku. "So Baldy, what do you think? Isn't it pretty? Baldy?"

Despite the meager lighting in the room, Ikkaku could see the drawing just as clearly as if he'd been out in the sun. The colors were indeed bright, just as they had been on Yachiru's picture, but this was different. The way the blue flowed into the green so seamlessly…the way the dull purple seemed to cast a shadow over them… Something about it felt strangely familiar. And then there were the reds and browns, the oranges and blacks. It was alarming to see the strokes jutting in, disrupting the graceful flow of blue and green. He felt an odd sense of pity for those two colors. They were bombarded on all sides, yet unable to break free…their beauty going to waste as the careless chaos swarmed around them. Before long, they would fade away into nothing…blending with the chaos.

Ikkaku's stomach squirmed. The picture was haunting.

"Hey Baldy, anybody home?"

It was several seconds before Ikkaku realized Yachiru was talking to him. "Huh? Oh, sorry."

"Well, do you like it? It's pretty, huh?!"

"Yeah," he replied, his voice detached.

"You know what's weird though?" she said. "While we were coloring, Feather-face said that beauty is just an illusion, and that he didn't think he was beautiful on the inside. Why would he say that?"

"I…dunno…" he mumbled, staring aimlessly into the colors.

"Alright runt, let's get going," Kenpachi said after an interval of empty silence. "The man looks like he's tryin' ta use his brain. Probably means he needs some sleep."

"Mmkay! You can keep the pictures, Pachinko-head. Just try not to think so hard, okay? You don't want to hurt yourself."

She giggled and climbed up onto Kenpachi's shoulder. "We'll see you tomorrow when you get outta here," he said. "Then you can get right back to whoopin' some Hollow-ass."

"Bye bye!" Yachiru waved as her personal transportation device exited the room, who, once again, had to duck below the doorframe on his way out.

But Ikkaku hadn't taken his eyes off the drawing. His brow furrowed as he studied it, trying desperately to understand. "Yumichika…" Beauty was just an illusion? He wasn't beautiful on the inside? Why the hell would he say those things? And to Yachiru, of all people? What did it all mean? And why did this damn picture make him so uncomfortable?

Frustrated, he turned the paper ninety degrees. Perhaps seeing it from a new perspective would magically help him find an answer. But no such answer came to him. The volatile strokes of red, brown, orange and black struck the blue and green at different angles now. It was becoming painful to look at.

Ikkaku's hand began to shake. Gravity had drained it of blood. Despite this, he continued to hold it up, the paper clenched between his fingers. And suddenly he saw something. Something that reminded him of…

His arm collapsed back to the bed. A bitter wave of guilt passed up and down Ikkaku's body as the memory came flooding back to him – the memory he'd tried so hard to repress. The images were so vivid in his mind; it was as if he'd seen them only yesterday.

Nearly eighty years had passed since that day, the day Ikkaku and Yumichika arrived in the 11th Division to greet the new Captain Zaraki. Finally, Ikkaku had found him.

Later that evening, once he and Yumichika had claimed their living spaces in the barracks, they headed back to their old place in Rukongai to gather the few belongings they had. Apparently word had gotten out among the citizens that he and Yumichika had joined the Gotei 13, and were leaving their old life behind.

A group of drunken lowlifes decided to give them hell for it, slandering the two Shinigami with every insult they could think of. Most of their words were directed at Yumichika.

"_I should rip those bastards to pieces," Ikkaku growled._

_Yumichika sighed. "They'll get bored and go away if you just ignore them."_

"_How can you stand there and let them insult you like that?"_

"_Anything they say is meaningless, just like their lives. I've learned not to let it get to me. There are much more important things to dedicate my thoughts to."_

_Ikkaku clenched his jaw, on the verge pummeling those creeps into the ground._

"_For instance, I'm thinking about cutting my hair. It's a pain to deal with these days. What do you think?"_

_Ikkaku looked at Yumichika, observing the way his dark hair fell around his face, framing his eyes and jaw, while the longer layers stretched down to the middle of his back. "Eh, I've always kind of liked your hair. But if you wanna chop it off, don't let me stop you."_

_The group of drunks had steadily gotten louder and bolder with their comments. One of them stumbled forward. "Hey faggot, will you suck my dick for fifty kan?"_

_Yumichika tensed, dismay evident on his features. He tried to conceal it by turning away from Ikkaku._

"_No?" the drunk rumbled on. "Alright, how 'bout a hundred? You can't be worth much more than that!"_

_Ikkaku snapped. "That's it," he snarled, drawing his sword and running forward._

"_Ikkaku, don't!" Yumichika protested._

_But the man was already dead. The remaining drunks all pounced on Ikkaku, pinning him to the ground. Ikkaku slaughtered half a dozen from the flat of his back, but another, larger group of drunks emerged from across the road. One of them was gigantic. He ran full speed at Ikkaku, yelling incomprehensibly._

_Ikkaku forced the men off him and got to his feet, prepared for whatever the giant could throw at him. But the giant threw himself. Ikkaku's sword, thrust deep into the giant's body, had no effect. He landed on top of the Shinigami and unleashed his huge fists._

_Ikkaku wasn't sure what had happened, but all he could see was black. His body ached and he couldn't move. He tasted blood. Something had gone horribly wrong._

"_IKKAKU!"_

_Who was yelling his name? The voice sounded familiar. Yumichika?_

"_IK-IKKAKU! IKKAKU!"_

_But why did he sound so…desperate? There was more screaming, but it soon became stifled. What was going on?_

"_Quit yer whinin', pretty boy, that punk ain't wakin' up fer days. Damnit, stop squirmin'!"_

_Who the hell was that? What was he doing to Yumichika?_

"_IKKAKUUU!"_

_Ikkaku's eyes flew open. It felt like his body had been jumpstarted. He pushed himself up from the ground, ignoring the pain, frantically searching for his screaming friend. A short distance away, a group of men were huddled around something, their laughter drowning out the screams. He launched himself forward, cutting down four or five of them before finding Yumichika in the middle…_

_Ikkaku's soul shattered to pieces._

_Forced onto his knees, legs spread apart…long hair yanked back, exposing his neck to the meat cleaver carving lines over his collarbones…wrists bound tight with barbed wire…robes slipping down over his shoulders…_

_And the man…the man kneeling behind Yumichika, one hand knotted into his long hair, tugging it down hard, the other forcing the knife deeper into his neck…all the while violently thrusting his hips back and forth in a sickening motion._

_With his head forced back, Yumichika's face was turned up to the sky. His eyes were shut tight, tears forcing their way down his cheeks. His lips hung open, quivering, hoarse whimpers of agony escaping through them._

_Ikkaku's body acted before his mind could comprehend. He stabbed his sword directly through the man's neck. Yumichika's hair was released and the knife fell to the ground. The drunken man, taking his last bloody breath, toppled over, his loosened robes exposing his indecent arousal._

_Within seconds, the rest of the bystanders had been slaughtered._

_Yumichika collapsed onto the ground, his body shaking uncontrollably. He'd managed to free his wrists of the barbed wire, but several rogue splinters were still lodged in his right one. Blood seeped from the three deep gashes just below his neck. His hair was smothered with dirt and grime, as was the rest of his bare skin._

"_Yumichika…" Ikkaku fell to his knees beside his friend, eyes clouding with tears as he quickly removed the outer layer of his Shihakusho and pressed it against the wounds on Yumi's neck, blocking the flow of blood._

" '_Kaku…" he muttered through chattering teeth._

_Ikkaku wrapped his fingers gently around Yumichika's right forearm, and with quick movements, extracted the remaining pieces of barbed wire. He tore a shred from the Shihakusho and wrapped it around the bleeding skin._

"_C-Can you move?" Ikkaku asked, barely able to find his voice._

_Yumichika forced himself up. His arms trembled under the weight, but he reached a hand out to Ikkaku. Before he could collapse again, the bald man caught him in his arms and pulled him into his chest, sheltering him from the world._

_Low sobs filled the air around them as Yumichika clung to Ikkaku, shivering into the larger man's body. His fingers dug hard into Ikkaku's skin, as if he were afraid he might be dragged away and put through the pain all over again. _

"_Yumi…I'm sorry…"_

A tear escaped from the corner of Ikkaku's eye. The memory of that day stung at him incessantly. He found it increasingly hard to breathe as he lay motionless in the dark room.

Yumi still had the scars. They were always covered of course, so no one could see them – three deep lines over his collarbones, several jagged lines around his right wrist. And his hair. Ikkaku always considered it a kind of scar as well. Only a few days had passed after that event before Yumi decided to cut off his hair. He said keeping it long reminded him of the pain. And over the next century, there was never the desire to grow it out again.

But those scars were on the outside. Ikkaku couldn't fathom what kind of scars dwelled deep within his friend. His own soul had been shattered into pieces, and even after eighty years, it hadn't completely mended itself. There would always be one tiny part that would never return – one piece of his soul that was lost forever in that day long ago.

Despite the many years it took Ikkaku to force the memory to the back of his mind, it was in full view now, and would be for some time to come. The adjoining feelings were worse than he remembered. Emotional pain wasn't anything like physical pain. Ikkaku had been through every kind of physical pain that came with a tough battle. But emotional pain…

"Damnit," Ikkaku grumbled.

He was a man, a member of the Eleventh Division, a warrior. He loved to fight and kill. He shouldn't be so damn emotional. He shouldn't be fretting over his feelings. He shouldn't be thinking about these things…

But for some reason he just couldn't help himself. Yumi was the most important thing to him. Yumi understood him, Yumi took care of him, Yumi made sure he didn't screw things up. Yumi was smart, Yumi was talented, Yumi was beautiful…so damn beautiful it was almost painful to look at.

There was no one in Soul Society as beautiful as Yumichika. Ikkaku had never laid eyes on a woman whose beauty even came close to rivaling his best friend's. It was just a fact. Perhaps that was why he never found himself attracted to any woman. Sure he fucked them for the pleasure of it, but Yumichika would always be better looking. Plain and simple.

He knew half of the Shinigami in Seireitei wanted to get their hands on Matsumoto. Sure, she was well endowed and a talented fighter, but she never interested him in that way. She was loud and obnoxious. There were always comments floating around about Shihoin Yoruichi and her hotness, but Ikkaku didn't really care to notice. Besides, she morphed into a cat. That was just weird. People talked about how cute the human girl, Inoue, was. Cute like a scared little kitten, perhaps. And everyone knew about Renji and his desperate love for Rukia. He might actually have a shot if he wasn't such a pansy about telling her. Then there was that Mizuho girl in the human world, Keigo's sister.

Ikkaku shuddered. Talk about clingy and irritating. He'd rather go on a date with Soifon than _that _brutal piece of work. Of course Yumichika always had the best time when they had to stay at Mizuho's house. He just thought the whole ordeal of that woman trying to glue herself to Ikkaku was hilarious. Why wasn't he jealous? Shouldn't he have felt threatened by her? She was, after all, trying to steal him away from any life he might have had outside her greedy presence. Maybe Yumichika knew, even better than Ikkaku himself, that Ikkaku would never have the slightest bit of interest in a woman like that. Or any other woman for that matter.

If anyone tried pulling that kind of crap on Yumichika…well, needless to say, they wouldn't get very far. Ikkaku would never let anybody touch Yumichika. Especially after that event almost a century ago. Not even someone with good intentions. People were disgusting and unpredictable. Anyone, man or woman, who had eyes for Yumichika was not to be trusted. Whenever a person looked at him with the tiniest hint of desire or attraction, it made Ikkaku's stomach squirm. He'd get the overwhelming urge to take Yumichika and hide him in a covert place, safe from all their filthy gazes. Every gaze except his own, of course.

Ikkaku had always felt a strange sort of magnetism to Yumichika, even in the early days. He didn't know what it was. Maybe it was just that thing people called friendship. He hadn't had any friends before, so he had no idea what that was supposed to be like. Nonetheless, he liked having Yumi around him. He was like no one else in Soul Society, but then again, neither was Ikkaku. Their eccentricities had brought them together, but it was their differences that kept them together. They were like two pieces of a whole, neither one really complete without the other.

After meeting Yumichika, Ikkaku didn't feel so worthless anymore. Someone cared about him. _Why_ someone like Yumichika would waste his time caring about a brute like him, Ikkaku had no fucking idea, but he liked it all the same.

And it wasn't just out of obligation that he cared for Yumichika too. Ikkaku wasn't really one to return a favor just because someone had bestowed one upon him. No, he harbored a genuine feeling of compassion toward the smaller man. He never showed it, of course, because he didn't fully understand it himself.

It was odd. Sometimes he felt self-conscious about who he was. He was completely devoid of charm and wasn't particularly good-looking. Perhaps Ikkaku was afraid that his friend would no longer wish to follow him one day, and he would once again be alone. He didn't want to be alone. There was really only one thing he could do, one thing that he excelled at – fighting. He would win battles to prove his worth. Maybe then Yumichika wouldn't want to leave.

It wasn't until he met Kenpachi that he lost a fight. Ikkaku had been sprawled out on the ground, bloody, completely defeated. The taller man hadn't even been wounded. As the man from Zaraki walked away with the little pink-haired girl on his shoulder, Ikkaku half-expected Yumichika to follow him instead. It was obvious who the superior warrior was. Now that he'd lost, who would want to stick around with a second-string loser?

But Yumichika hadn't gone anywhere. He'd stayed as if nothing had happened. Ikkaku was angry with himself for thinking so low of his friend, for thinking that Yumichika would abandon him like that, just because he was no longer the best fighter. But there was still that lingering fact of life – someone who can't win can't protect the people he loves. And that was proven that day, that day when he failed to protect the person he loved most.

Ikkaku forced those thoughts from his mind. Yumichika was a proud member of the Eleventh. He was skilled at ending lives, slashing them to ruins. He could hold his own against numerous opponents at a time. His reiatsu was on the level of any vice-captain in the Gotei 13 when he battled. And during those times, he wasn't anywhere near unleashing his full strength. In fact, he hardly ever fought at full strength. But now…now that Ikkaku knew there was yet another facet to Yumichika's strength…he didn't know what to think.

Had that been his Bankai? Was that the full power of Fuji Kujaku? Why the hell hadn't he known about it? Yumichika was one of the only people who knew about Ikkaku's Bankai. Why hadn't Yumi told him, damnit? They told each other everything. They were best friends. So why didn't he know about it? If anyone else knew… Ikkaku practically trembled with frustration.

"What the hell was that?!" he growled to himself.

_You're a lot stupider than I give ya credit for._

Ikkaku looked around for the source of the familiar voice. His eyes landed on his sword, Houzukimaru, lying on a table beside his bed.

"What're you talking about?"

_You really don't get it, do you?_

"Get what?!"

The Zanpakutou sighed indifferently._ I ain't gonna be the one to tell you._

Ikkaku clenched his jaw. "If you're not going to give me any useful information then why don't you just shut the fuck up!"

_Tch, someone's cranky today._

"Go to hell."

_Whatever. Just don't expect my help any time soon._

The rage sweltered inside him. Rage at what, he didn't know. Just blind rage. He needed to fight, needed to take his anger out on someone strong. But damnit, he was in the stupid hospital covered in stupid bandages. Ikkaku suddenly realized just how bandaged he was. His whole chest was wrapped up, as well as his entire right arm up to his shoulder. Both his shins were bandaged too. There was even a bandage wrapped around his head.

By all rights he should be dead. How the hell had he lived through such a beating? And how humiliating to be alive, in this injured state, after _losing. _But everyone…the captain, the vice-captain, all the other Shinigami…they believed he'd won. They believed he'd killed the Hollow. That wasn't true. He'd lost. And his battle had been taken over by someone else. Had he really been that close to dying? But still, that shouldn't have mattered. It was honorable to die in battle. Yumichika knew that. Yet, he still interfered. Was it to protect himself? Did he think Ikkaku was already dead? No, that couldn't have been it. Yumichika knew he was still alive. He fed him those flower petals, told him to chew. You don't give orders to dead people. And you sure as hell don't win someone else's battle and lie about it.

Yumichika…why? Why had he done it? What was that power he released? What the hell did it all mean? He needed explanations. And he was going to get them, one way or another.


	4. Chapter 3

Yumichika had been in the archives for seventy straight hours. He hadn't eaten. He'd only slept when he was too tired to file papers. At those times, the floor had served as his bed. He hadn't retrieved Ruri'iro Kujaku from its place on the ground. He'd removed his eye ornaments and hadn't bothered to put his orange collar back on. The self-inflicted scratches on his face had started to scab. His throat burned from screaming. He felt like a different person. An empty one. He might as well have been a Hollow.

The moment came as suddenly as he'd expected it to. The moment he'd been dreading for the past several hours. He hadn't thought much about what he'd do, but it didn't matter. He was already prepared for the worst.

Yumichika had his back turned to the place where Ikkaku would be standing. And even though he couldn't see the bald man arrive behind him, he could feel him.

"There you are," Ikkaku said, sounding annoyed. "I've been looking everywhere for you. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Paperwork."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. Nobody's seen you for three days. Have you been in here the whole time?"

Yumichika nodded.

"Tch. That's kinda pathetic." When he was met with silence, his frustration heightened. Ikkaku gnashed his teeth. "You gonna turn around and talk to me or what?" he asked, walking up to Yumichika and clapping a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. He was met with empty violet eyes – eyes he didn't recognize.

"What… What happened to your face?"

Yumichika shrugged out of the grasp and walked over to an adjacent wall of shelves. "Nothing," he grumbled.

Ikkaku knew Yumichika hadn't had those scratches the last time he'd seen him. His face had looked just as perfect as always, even through the blurry vision. "Did you do that to yourself?"

Yumichika tensed. "It doesn't matter."

"Why can't you just answer the damn question?" Ikkaku snapped.

Yumichika looked over his shoulder at Ikkaku, eyes burning through him. "Because you already know the answer."

The bald man clenched his jaw. "It's time you gave me some _serious _answers."

"Answers to what?" Yumi mumbled, turning away again.

"You know damn well what!" Ikkaku yelled, his frustration beginning to boil over. "Now start talking."

"About?"

"About what happened!"

"Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't stand there and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about! You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"You defeated the Hollow, Ikkaku. That's all."

Ikkaku slammed his fist into a nearby shelf of documents, knocking them all to the ground. "You can lie to everyone else, Yumichika, but don't you dare fucking lie to me!"

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Ikkaku grabbed Yumichika's shoulder again, harder this time, and forced his body around, slamming his back up against the shelves. "Tell me the goddamn truth! I want to know!"

Yumichika's face remained emotionless. "You don't need to know. It's better that way. Just leave me alone."

"What?!" Ikkaku snarled. Of course he needed to know, damnit! Why didn't Yumi understand that? "Leave you alone? After what you did? No, I don't think I will. Not until you tell me why you did it! Why did you save my life?"

It was strange how easy it was for Yumichika to retain his calm. He was dying on the inside. No one would have known it. "I didn't want you to die."

A hot pain swarmed through Ikkaku's chest at those words. He'd never felt that before. What did it mean? Why was it… No, he didn't want to think about it. It was easier just to be angry. Everything made more sense that way. Ikkaku slammed Yumichika's back harder against the shelves. "Selfish bastard! No one gives a fuck what you want! Especially not me! I should have died in that fight! And if you were any kind of warrior, you would have let me! You're nothing but a coward."

"I know."

"You _know?" _Ikkaku spat, letting the harsh words spill freely from his mouth. "Then why the hell don't you go join Squad Four!? I'm sure they'd love to see that shiny trick you can pull out of your sword!"

Yumichika said nothing.

"What the fuck was that, huh? Some sort of Kidou crap?"

"No."

"Is that your Bankai, then?"

"No."

"THEN WHAT IS IT?"

"It's nothing."

Ikkaku was shaking in all his anger. Why was Yumi acting so calm and unaffected by all of this? And why the hell wouldn't he talk? He noticed Yumichika's sword lying on the floor, so he snatched it up and held it in front of Yumi's face. "If it's nothing, then show it to me."

"No."

"Show it to me, damnit!"

"I won't."

Ikkaku wanted to scream. "Then I'll make you!"

"You can't."

"Oh, I can," he growled. "And I will. Do you want to know how?" Ikkaku brought his face dangerously close to Yumichika's. "I challenge you to a fight. A fight for the 5th Seat."

For the first time, Yumichika lost his composure. "Wh-What?"

Ikkaku grinned. Finally, a reaction. "That's right. If I officially challenge you for your position, you can't refuse. I'll fight you until you're forced to use your true power."

His eyes were drawn to Yumi's neck, where the scars were out in plain sight. He grabbed the man's wrist. Those scars were uncovered as well. "Heh," he scoffed, releasing his wrist. Ikkaku ran a finger down the scars over Yumi's collarbones, digging his nail into the raised skin. The shorter man inhaled sharply, trying to back away. But Ikkaku just grinned wider, finding fear in Yumi's eyes. "Maybe if you'd used your true power, I wouldn't have had to _literally_ save your ass."

If any parts of Yumichika's heart were still miraculously intact, they suddenly dissolved into blackness. He thought he'd been prepared for the worst. He underestimated.

"Ikkaku…" Yumi breathed.

A hand flew up and clamped down on Yumichika's jaw. "Don't speak to me," Ikkaku hissed. His body trembled with uncontrollable rage and the look in his eyes grew more maniacal. "I don't want to hear your filthy words." He traced his thumb along Yumichika's bottom lip. The shorter man, bewildered, tried to pull away, but Ikkaku's hold on him was too strong. "I don't want to hear _anything_ these filthy lips have to say."

Ikkaku suddenly leaned forward, his face coming within centimeters of Yumichika's. Tears streamed freely from his dead violet eyes.

"All they do is lie," Ikkaku snarled. When Yumichika felt the soft graze of lips against his own, and saw the violent look raging brighter in Ikkaku's eyes, he wanted nothing more than to disintegrate into the air. The contrast was sickening. It tortured him. And Ikkaku knew it.

He threw Ruri'iro Kujaku to the ground and grabbed a fistful of Yumi's robes, violently yanking him forward. "I survived a battle I lost. You killed my opponent for me. _You_ left me alive. And for that, I will kill you."

He released Yumichika, who fell back against the wall of shelves.

"Noon tomorrow, behind the 11th Division barracks. If you don't show, I'll find you and drag you there by your hair."

The bald man disappeared. Yumichika trembled, staring into empty space, his chest ripped open, his soul destroyed.

x.x.x

Retsu Unohana sipped vacantly at her tea, hoping with every ounce of her being that the rumors weren't true. Word spread fast among Shinigami in Seireitei, and once something was out in the open, it was nearly impossible to quell.

Talk had originated in Squad 11, where a few members witnessed their 3rd seat Ikkaku Madarame storm into the barracks looking for Captain Zaraki. Once the news had travelled to Squads 3, 6, 7 and 9, it was made clear that Officer Madarame had challenged someone to a fight, and that someone was Ayasegawa Yumichika. By the time this information had gotten to Squads 5, 8, 10 and 13, details had evolved so far as to report that the two would be dueling behind the Squad 11 barracks at noontime tomorrow.

And once Kotetsu Isane brought the news to the Squad 4 Captain, it was already known that most of Seireitei would be attending the battle. Retsu wouldn't have been surprised if Captain-Commander Yamamoto knew of the event. Two seated officers of the infamous Squad 11 fighting each other was sure to attract a huge audience – a huge audience who would play witness to a vicious battle between the closest of friends.

"Captain Unohana?" Isane was standing in the doorway of her office, looking quite beside herself.

"Yes, Isane?" Retsu asked.

"Captain Zaraki is here to see you."

She'd felt his reiatsu approaching for the past minute or so, and was not surprised to hear that he wanted to speak with her.

"Send him in, please. Thank you."

A few seconds later Captain Zaraki stepped into her office. He was alone, no pink-haired girl clinging to his back. But what was even more unusual was the grim look marring his features. He moved so evenly into her office that his bells hardly made any sound at all.

Retsu closed the door behind him. "Captain Zaraki, I was hoping I might see you today," she said gravely.

"I take it you've heard the rumors," he said.

"I have, but they are just that, rumors, and have yet to be confirmed as truth."

"Well, I can tell ya they're all true."

"Hmm, I was afraid of that."

The huge man sank into one of the couches and sighed. "Retsu, I don't know what the hell's going on. My 3rd seat challenged my 5th seat to a battle for his rank. Has the kid lost his mind? I mean, who does that? "

"Perhaps one who is looking for a valid way to take up arms against another who is…less willing."

Kenpachi looked up at her. "Y'think that's it?"

"I'm merely speculating."

"Yachiru told me she saw Yumichika a few days ago. Apparently he said that he'd done something bad and that Ikkaku should be angry with him."

Retsu's heart sank just a bit. "Does she know what it was that Ayasegawa-san did?" she asked, knowing full well what it was Yumichika had done.

"Nah, he didn't tell her that."

"I see. Well, as their captain, you have the right to overturn the legitimacy of the challenge. Do you think you'll exercise that right?"

Kenpachi sighed again, rubbing his hand over his face. "No idea. Normally I wouldn't care if members of my squad wanted to duke it out. Hell, I encourage that. But this isn't the same; this isn't for sport. Still, who am I to get involved in their fights? S'not my place to tell them they can't try to kill each other."

She sighed. "There is also the possibility that even if you do deny the legitimacy of the fight, a battle would still take place. Without the front of a valid challenge, it would solely appear to be a savage revenge battle between friends."

"So I have to choose the lesser of two evils."

"Yes, that's one way of looking at it. You're the Captain of Squad 11. You know best how to maintain the collective morale of your men."

Kenpachi stood up. "This is the screwiest catch-22 I've ever had to deal with. But I guess I have no choice."

"Kenpachi," Retsu said seriously, also rising to her feet. "If you let the battle take place, I warn you, you're not going to like what you see."

"Two of my best guys at each other's throats? 'Course I won't."

She shook her head. "That is only the tip of the iceberg."

He eyed her strangely. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Do not think ill of either of your men tomorrow. They seek only to please you, and therefore deserve your tolerance and understanding."

Kenpachi stared at her for a few moments, as if trying to comprehend the message hidden in her words. "If ya say so."

x.x.x

Kuchiki Byakuya so enjoyed the peace and quiet of his home office. No rowdy squad members, no fiery vice-captain, just the faint swoosh of his brush gliding across paper.

When a soft knock sounded from the other side of the closed door, Byakuya just sighed. He knew exactly who it was. Not because he could detect her spirit energy, no. This person was very good at masking that. And the fact that the knock seemed about three feet up from the floor was just a hint.

"Come in," he said, setting his brush down but not getting up.

The door opened to reveal Yachiru, who respectfully bowed before entering.

"Hi Byakkun," she said somberly, shutting the door behind her and hopping into the chair in front of his desk. She hugged her knees to her chest.

"Kusajishi." Byakuya looked at the pink-haired girl, uncharacteristically gloomy. He didn't need to ask why. And he didn't need to ask how she got past his guards. Byakuya had almost given up on the tightened security around the mansion – she still found ways into his house.

But the fact that she knocked made this situation wholly different from any other he'd found himself in involving Kusajishi Yachiru. And he didn't know why, but he didn't like seeing her like this. It just wasn't…right.

He slipped his hand into a desk drawer and pulled out a small bag of candy. He pushed it to her side of the desk.

"Help yourself."

Yachiru gave a weak smile. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

That surprised Byakuya more than anything. Her two subordinates were surely doing a number on her emotional wellbeing, not that it was his responsibility to notice or care.

"Where is your captain?" Byakuya asked, trying to make his voice sound light.

"At the fourth, talking to Re-chan."

The 6th Division captain was well aware of the relationship between Zaraki and Unohana, though he didn't know what that relationship entailed. He just knew that there was one. Thus it made sense that Zaraki would seek refuge in the serenity of that woman's presence, if serenity was what it could be called.

In the back of his mind, Byakuya knew that was why Yachiru had come to him. Sometimes, amidst all the chaos and fighting, a soul just needs a safe, quiet place to think. Insanity can only sustain one for so long.

"Would you like to talk about…" Byakuya didn't want to say either of their names, or address the situation specifically. He didn't want to upset her more than she already was – why he felt that way, he'd have to contemplate at a later time. "…Something?"

She looked up at him with teary eyes. "Are you my friend, Byakkun?" she asked, sniffling.

Byakuya twitched slightly at the word 'friend.' It wasn't a word that frequented his daily vocabulary. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Even though I sneak into your house all the time?"

Well. He had to think about that one. It was true that she never stole anything from inside the mansion, never _truly_ destroyed anything, and he knew she had never stepped foot into the room in which he kept Hisana's shrine – that particular wing of the house had several alarms in place.

"Yes."

She smirked, but it faded away. "Why?"

"Because…" He hesitated. "…You are always yourself."

"Is that a good thing?"

He nodded. "It's not healthy trying to be something you're not."

"What if there was something you didn't like about me?"

He didn't exactly know where she was going with this, but he answered honestly. "Then that is my problem, not yours."

"So it's not a good enough reason to change, even if I just wanted you to like me?"

"That is probably the worst reason."

The girl nodded, contemplating his words. "Are you…going to come tomorrow?"

Again, Byakuya couldn't quite tell what she was asking, so he was honest. "I wasn't planning on it."

"Oh," she said, looking down.

"Would you…like me to?" Byakuya had no idea why he said it, but he did.

Her eyes popped back up, sparkling with gratitude. "If you don't want to, that's okay. I know you don't like those kinds of things, especially when it involves my squad." She smiled her sad smile again. "Showing up just because I want you to is the worst reason to show up."

At first he thought she was guilt-tripping him, but then he realized she was being perfectly sincere. For a moment, he actually felt bad for thinking she was manipulating him. Byakuya wasn't used to this innocent, vulnerable child. In fact, he never even considered her innocent or vulnerable until now. In a way, he was mildly honored that she would come to him in her current state. But he quickly quashed that feeling because it was ridiculous.

"Well, people do favors for their friends."

Her bottom lip quivered as she grinned ear to ear. Then the tears began falling in waterfalls. This alarmed Byakuya, thinking he'd said something wrong.

"Byakkun, I'm real glad we're friends," she choked out. Then she buried her face against her knees. "I just wish Baldy and Feathers could be friends again." She tried to muffle the sobs that shook her entire little body. "But Baldy's mad. Really really mad, madder than I've ever seen him before. And Feathers is sadder than I've ever seen him. I just want them to go back to being normal!"

Byakuya had never seen Yachiru cry before. And he didn't quite know why, but he wanted it to stop.

"Sometimes…in order for a relationship to progress…two people need to get past certain things. Deal with them in the ways they know how."

She looked up, the flow of tears ceasing. "What do you mean?"

Byakuya had no idea what actually happened between her two subordinates, but that didn't matter. He didn't need to know. "Well. Maybe…things weren't as normal between them as you thought they were."

"But it seemed like it."

"I'm sure it did. But we never really know what's going on inside a person's heart. Some people are very good at hiding their secrets and their pain."

Yachiru thought very hard about this, and Byakuya was pleased to see her tears evaporate completely.

"Even from their best friends?"

"Especially from their best friends."

Again, Yachiru pondered his words. Her head even nodded a little bit, indicating her understanding. After a few seconds, she smiled her luminous smile at him. "I'm glad I came to see you, Byakkun. You always make everything better."

He didn't know whether to be flattered or disturbed by her statement. He was saved from having to reply when she hopped out of the chair.

"There's gonna be a lot of people there tomorrow. I wish they'd just stay home."

Byakuya thought that was strange, considering her wanting him to be there. But then again, maybe it wasn't strange. He did always make everything better. Byakuya decided he was flattered by that, rather than disturbed. There would be many more moments to be disturbed, he was sure.

One of those moments was just a second later, when Yachiru bounded up to his side of the desk and practically pounced on him, squeezing him into a tight hug. When she didn't let go, he awkwardly patted her on the back, which got her to release him.

As a thank you for her now safe distance from him, he handed her the bag of candy. "You'll be hungry later."

She grinned and bowed. "Arigato, Byakkun."

Yachiru moved to the door of the office but stopped just before opening it.

"Hey Byakkun?"

"Yes?"

She bit her lip shyly. "Do you think…our relationship will progress?"

Yachiru always provided abundant moments for Byakuya to be disturbed. He gulped. "What do you mean by that?" Not that he really wanted to know.

"When I get older and taller and grow big boobies…" Byakuya wanted so badly to stop listening. "…Maybe we can…"

The expression on her face suddenly shifted and Byakuya could practically hear the gears clicking into place in her head. Then she gave a little laugh, like she was laughing at herself.

"We'll talk about that later," she said. Boy, was he looking forward to that. "I just had an ephibany."

"You mean an epiphany?"

She smiled. "That's it. You're the best, Byakkun!"

And then she was gone, out the door before he could say anything. Kuchiki Byakuya was left contemplating his own sanity, which was very rare indeed.


	5. Chapter 4

It was rare that so many people were gathered in a single place in Seireitei. It was even stranger that this place of gathering was the famed and feared Squad 11.

The field behind the barracks was flooded with Shinigami. Some had even taken to sitting on the roof of the barracks, while others were perched on tree branches overlooking the field.

A large space had been left clear in the middle of the open grounds, because no one felt like encroaching on the pacing territory of a certain tiny Shinigami. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she cleared the area in a short time, over and over again. She looked uncharacteristically dreary, and everyone gathered behind the barracks thought it best not to bother her. Even Kenpachi.

The 11th Division captain had been standing like a statue in the field for a while now, watching his cice-captain. Just an hour ago, they had been the only two here, Yachiru pacing and Kenpachi standing. Captain Unohana was the third to arrive, coming to stand at Zaraki's side.

"I've given some of my division orders to be here at noon, in case there are any serious injuries," she said.

He hadn't questioned why she alone was here so early.

"Somethin's not right," he said, eyes locked on his Yachiru. "I can tell."

Retsu studied his face. "What do you mean?"

"It's never good when she's like this. Means she's thinkin' about real serious stuff. She definitely knows something."

"Should you go talk to her?" she questioned.

Kenpachi shook his head. "Nah. I'd just be a bother. She'll come over here when she's good and ready."

"This must be terribly upsetting for her," Retsu sighed.

"Those two idiots have been like her big brothers for a hell of a long time," Kenpachi growled. "Now they want to fight to the death. That's just fucking terrific. If they don't end up ripping each other to shreds, I'll kill 'em both for getting Yachiru all worked up like this. Selfish bastards."

"You care about her very much, don't you?"

Kenpachi tensed, as if the question itself diminished his fierce manliness. He relaxed, fixing a sneer on his face. Screw manliness. " 'Course I do. Who the hell's gonna look after me if she doesn't? Or draw pictures of me killing people surrounded by stupid fluffy kittens and flowers and butterflies? Who's gonna stash enough candy in my office to last through the winter?"

The 11th Squad captain stopped, catching himself rambling – something he didn't get caught doing very often…except by Yachiru, of course. He sighed heavily. When he felt a light touch on his arm, he looked down at the woman beside him. Retsu smiled warmly.

"Many people fear you for your lust for blood. It would be wiser of them to fear you for your unwavering heart."

Kenpachi stared at her. Did a beautiful woman just compliment him? That was…something that had never happened before.

Retsu sensed his surprise at her words and, quite amused, smiled wider and retracted her hand from his arm. What a silly man this Zaraki Kenpachi was.

It took him a few seconds to recover from his apparent shock. When he did, the corner of his lips pulled up into a smirk. "Do _you_ fear me?" he asked, standing up a little taller.

But Retsu didn't have the heart to say 'no, not at all.' So she simply returned the smirk and said, "I only fear the day when someone is foolish enough to attack your vice-captain. Because on that day, all hell will break loose."

Kenpachi gave a satisfied nod. "That's fer damn sure."

Several minutes of silence had gone by before the first group of people showed up. Renji, Rukia, Iba, Shuuhei, Izuru, Rangiku, Momo and Captain Hitsugaya entered the grounds, all of them arguing.

"We shouldn't be fighting amongst ourselves at a time like this," said Momo, clearly concerned.

"There's nothing we can do about it," Izuru replied glumly.

"So we're just going to stand around and watch as they kill each other?" Renji asked.

"Do you really think it'll go that far?" said Rangiku.

"Sure it will," said Iba. "That bald idiot won't stop til he's too drunk or too dead to swing his sword."

"Can Yumichika fight on an equal level with Ikkaku? There are two seats difference between them," said Rukia.

"Rank doesn't matter," Shuuhei asserted firmly. "Whoever's smart…or _stupid_ enough…to use their full power will win."

An irritated sigh came from the shortest person of the group. "Isn't anyone curious as to _why_ these two morons have to fight each other?"

"Oh, that's a good question, Shiro-chan," Momo said.

The white-haired captain tensed angrily. "For the last time, it's Captain Hitsugaya, okay?"

"Why are you being such a grump today, Captain?" Rangiku asked, pouting.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you dragged me to this stupid brawl when there's still a mountain of paperwork that needs to be done!"

"If you keep frowning like that, your face is never going to go back to normal!" came a new, nonchalant voice. "You don't want to get wrinkles at such a young age, do you?"

Toshiro gave Captain Kyouraku a cold scowl.

"You know, Captain," said Nanao, straightening her glasses. "Now that I think about it, I believe _you_ have a substantial mountain of paperwork to finish as well."

"Aw, don't be so hard on me, Nanao," Shunsui pleaded. "I'm an old man. I deserve some time off, eh?"

"You might if you ever did a second of real work," she grumbled to herself.

"So, anyone placing bets on this fight?" the 8th Division captain asked. "Cause I'm betting the skinny one wins."

"That's not very mature of you, is it, Shunsui?" scolded Captain Ukitake, who approached them with his two 3rd seats in tow.

"Nice of you to show up, Jyuushiro," Shunsui smiled. "You wanna take that bet?"

"I'm not much of a gambler," he said. "I'm curious though. Why choose the 'skinny' one?"

Shunsui laughed. "Because it's the skinny ones that turn out to be the most feisty. Just like my friend Jyuushiro, here," he said, lomping an arm around Ukitake's shoulders. "Let me tell you, kids. He might not look all that scary, but don't ever go up against this one. You won't be able to lift your arms for a week."

Kiyone and Sentarou stared in proud wonderment at their captain. "Is that true, Captain?" they asked simultaneously.

Jyuushiro blushed. "Well, it's not entirely untrue."

"Captain Ukitake," Rukia said, approaching the white-haired man. "Are you here to see the outcome of the fight, too?"

"To be honest, I'd rather not watch this fight at all," he sighed sadly. "A clash between friends is the most painful to witness, not to mention the most difficult to participate in. The results are never happy. I came simply to show respect to a fellow captain and friend."

The group of people shifted their eyes to Captain Zaraki, who appeared to be frozen in time.

"Wouldn't it be more respectful to not be a part of the audience?" Shuuhei asked, scratching his head. "I mean, it's not like this is entertainment."

"Captain Ukitake is right, Hisagi."

Shuuhei looked behind him. "Captain Komamura!"

"Captain!" said Iba. "You've come as well?"

Komamura Sajin came to stand among the group. "Yes. Although our viewpoints may differ, I wouldn't deny Zaraki the proper amount of respect he commands as captain of the strongest combatant division. It would be disrespectful not to acknowledge the gravity of a battle like this, considering how much these two men have contributed to our defenses."

"If you're here out of respect, what the hell is _he_ doing here?" Renji asked, eyes fixed on a certain disturbing face that was fast approaching.

"Me?" came an equally disturbing voice. "Why else would I be here? If this is a battle between two rabid animals, one will surely kill the other. I'm here to collect a freshly dead body for research!"

"I'm not sure that's going to fly so well with Zaraki, Mayuri," said Shunsui.

"What does that mongrel care?" Kurotsuchi said, waving a hand in the air. Nemu was beside him. "He should be honored that the corpse of one of his subordinates is going to aid me in my research."

"That's ridiculous," Renji snapped. "Those guys are our friends! We're not going to let you chop them up for some psycho experiment!"

"Calm yourself, Renji." The novel voice preceded its owner, who Shunpo-ed in between his vice-captain and Mayuri.

"Nii-sama!" Rukia gasped, shocked to see him.

Byakuya gave her a guarded glance before turning to the 12th Division captain. "If one of these soldiers is killed in battle, the body will be preserved for a military funeral. That is the law."

Mayuri sneered. "How convenient of you to arrive just in time to lecture me on the nature of the law. Very well. I'll just have to dig up the corpse after it's been buried. I can't let a body so rich in spirit energy go to waste." The scientist turned on his heel and flash stepped out of sight, followed by his vice-captain.

"That guy really pisses me off sometimes," Renji growled.

No sooner had one captain vanished than another appeared. "That's to be expected of anyone who's spent time in the Maggot's Nest."

"Captain Soifon!" several people blurted at once.

The tiny captain just crossed her arms, fixing a cold stare on her face. "There have been rumors floating around that the Captain-Commander might make an appearance."

Her vice-captain appeared behind her. "You never told me that, Captain!" he said in disappointment.

"You were probably too busy stuffing your face to hear what I was saying," Soifon responded indifferently.

"Old Man Yama's gonna show up?" Shunsui asked, scratching his chin. "This is turning into one serious fight."

"And Zaraki doesn't seem willing to stop it," Ukitake added.

"Even if he did, the outcome would be the same," said Komamura. "These two will fight no matter what."

Hitsugaya sighed in annoyance. "What I still don't get is why they have to go at it in the first place. It can't just be their love for fighting."

"No. It's more."

Everyone stared at the 6th Division captain. His expression was as cold as always.

"How do you know?" Renji asked.

Byakuya said nothing. He only raised his arm and pointed out into the empty area of the field before them, where the pink-haired Shinigami was pacing.

As Yachiru neared the group of captains and vice-captains on her lap around the field, she deviated from her path and walked back towards Kenpachi and Unohana. She and Byakuya locked eyes for a moment and she gave him a small smile.

Without a word, the girl climbed up Kenpachi's back and settled onto his shoulder. The three Shinigami remained silent for some time, just gazing out at the commotion in front of them. Souls from every direction came flooding in to see what promised to be a good battle.

"Ken-chan?" Yachiru finally said.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"What is it, Yachiru?"

The pink-haired girl let out a small sigh. "What would you do if I saved your life?"

Kenpachi cocked his head slightly, causing the bells in his hair to jingle. "What're you talkin' about?"

"If you were fighting someone and you were losing and…and about to die, what would you do if I stepped in and saved you? Would you want to kill me?"

In a split second, Kenpachi had leaned his upper body forward so that Yachiru tumbled off his shoulder and into his arms. He held her out in front of him. "Where the hell do you get off saying something like that?" he asked, clearly alarmed.

She stared back at him sadly. "You'd want revenge, wouldn't you? Revenge for your honor?"

Had she lost her mind? "You been eatin' too much candy, brat? Screw honor!" he said. "I'd never want to hurt you over a stupid thing like that!"

"Then if you didn't want revenge, you'd settle for being mad at me the rest of your life, right? You'd never forgive me if I took away your pride."

His hands shook her in frustration. "Yachiru, where is this coming from?!"

"Please just tell me, Ken-chan. I want to know what you'd do."

"What do you mean what would I do? I'd give you a great big hug the second I woke up from getting my ass handed to me!"

The girl blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah!"

"You wouldn't be mad at me?"

"I'd only be mad at myself for being that close to dying! It's my own damn fault for being so weak that you're forced to step in and drag me outta there. That should never _ever _have to happen."

A large crocodile tear escaped from Yachiru's eye despite the bright smile spreading across her face. She sniffled and wiped the tear away on her sleeve. "You know I'd only save you 'cause I love you too much to let you die."

The next thing Kenpachi knew, the air was being squeezed out of him by two tiny arms clasped tightly around his neck. He rolled his eyes and grinned, patting her on the back. "Yeah yeah, love ya too, ya runt," he wheezed.

Yachiru released the captain from her chokehold and once again took her spot on his shoulder.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," he snorted, his eyes wandering over to Retsu.

Her own navy eyes sparkled, and she smiled her gentle smile. He humbly shrugged his free shoulder.

"If only Baldy was more like you, Ken-chan," said Yachiru. "But he wants his revenge. I just hope he doesn't hurt Yumi too bad."

"Yachiru," Kenpachi said, brow furrowed. "Are… Are you saying…that Yumichika saved–"

But he was suddenly interrupted by a large wave of nervous _oohs_ and _aahs_ all around him.

"He's here," Yachiru whispered.

Sure enough, a bald Shinigami had just arrived via Shunpo in the clearing of the field. His expression was fixed into a vicious scowl. The crowd quickly fell silent and backed away, giving him a girth of more than twenty meters. Kenpachi hadn't moved at all, and he was now at the front of the crowd.

Ikkaku looked at his captain for a moment, his expression unchanging, before looking away. "YUMICHIKA!" he snarled at the top of his lungs, voice echoing off the barracks walls. "YUMICHIKA!"

Another wave of _oohs_ and _aahs_ erupted when a second Shinigami appeared. He emerged from the surrounding trees like a ghost, moving slowly and silently. His skin was white as a sheet, and strange scratches lined his emotionless face. He was without his characteristic eye accessories, and was not wearing the trademark orange fabric around his neck and wrist. He came to a stop and stood still fifty feet in front of his opponent.

Kenpachi begrudgingly walked forward, Yachiru still clinging to his back. They stopped when they reached the middle of the field, directly between their subordinates. Without a word, Kenpachi started off toward Ikkaku, while Yachiru hopped down and went toward Yumichika.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kenpachi asked his 3rd seat, completely serious.

The bald man huffed, as if he were a bull ready to charge. "What's it look like, Captain? I'm punishing a traitor."

"Funny, you're the only one who feels betrayed here."

"His treachery was the worst kind. It's unforgivable."

"Or so you've convinced yourself."

"Excuse me, Captain, but you don't know shit."

Kenpachi narrowed his eyes. "Tch. And you look confused outta yer goddamn mind."

"I'm not confused at all," Ikkaku hissed. "I know exactly what I have to do."

"That's the biggest pile of horseshit I've ever heard. You don't have a clue what to do, so you fight. It's the only fuckin' way you know how to solve problems. That just screws things up even more, and everyone else has to suffer for it."

Ikkaku's eyes widened for a moment then grew severe again. More severe than they had been a moment ago. "Don't make me think about that," he snarled, chest heaving. "I don't want to think about that day."

"And what day is that?" Kenpachi asked, staring at the wild man in front of him.

"It doesn't matter!" Ikkaku barked. "It was a long time ago! I…" His rampant defense cracked for a moment, and it didn't go unnoticed. Kenpachi caught the flicker of remorse in his eyes before they clouded over with rage once more. "Just get away from me!"

The captain turned to walk away, but stopped, looking at the bald man over his shoulder. "Killin' the people who've helped make you who you are is the same as killin' a part of yourself. Think about that, unless ya ain't opposed to suicide."

Yachiru stood placidly in front of the 5th seat, just staring at him. He looked different. He had scars on his neck. "How did you get those?"

Yumichika didn't meet her eyes. He knew what she was referring to. "A meat cleaver," he breathed, his weak voice carried away by the wind.

Her maroon orbs widened substantially. "O-Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I…I know why he's doing this."

He looked down at her with slightly widened eyes, the rest of his expression unchanging.

"I know that you saved him in the fight with the Hollows, and that you used the power you're always hiding. That's why he's angry."

Yumichika looked away. Yachiru's eyes filled with tears.

"You're not going to let him kill you, are you?" she asked.

"He'll kill me if he really wants to."

"Are you going to try and kill him?"

"No."

"Because you love him?"

He looked down at her again, his violet eyes growing more lifeless with each second. "Yes."

Yachiru sniffed. "Please don't die, Yumi." She wiped her tears, turned and walked away, meeting her captain in the middle of the grounds. Kenpachi didn't give her time to climb up onto his shoulder. He picked her up with one arm and set her there himself. Her tears spilled onto his haori as they returned to the front of the crowd.

x.x.x

The grounds were silent. The sliding metal could be heard for miles as Ikkaku pulled his sword from his sheathe. He pointed it at his opponent.

"Take out your sword, Yumichika," he ordered, his voice flat.

But the man across the field didn't move. His sword remained at his side, eyes staring into empty space.

"If you're not going to draw your sword and fight me like a man, then there's no reason for me to go easy on you. I'll just slice you up into little ugly bits."

Yumichika looked at Ikkaku, who shook with blind rage.

"Damnit, Yumichika! I'll force you to draw your sword!"

The bald man charged, propelling himself across the field in less than a second, blade aimed at his friend. As he swung with all his might, all he hit was thin air. Yumichika had sidestepped away. Ikkaku swung again, with his blade, his sheathe, his blade, his sheathe. Yumichika evaded each attack, causing Ikkaku's blade to miss him by mere centimeters every time. Fueled by his mounting fury, Ikkaku took a new approach and attacked from above.

Yumichika had watched Ikkaku fight for years. He didn't need to look up to see what was coming. He Shunpo-ed to the side then jumped back as Ikkaku swung again.

"Damn you!" Ikkaku growled, swinging his leg until his foot connected with Yumichika's jaw. The slighter man hit the ground on his hands and knees. Ikkaku quickly grabbed the opportunity and brought his blade down onto Yumi's back.

The sound of clashing steel caught him off guard, and he realized Houzukimaru had been blocked by Fuji Kujaku, which Yumi held back over his shoulder. Ikkaku went to strike again, but Yumi swiftly got to his feet and their blades met in midair.

The bald man glared at his friend. Blood trickled from Yumi's lips.

"I want to see it."

But Yumi just shook his head.

"Show it to me, for fuck's sake!" Ikkaku growled, recklessly thrashing the air around him, hoping to get in a hit. Yumi was just too fast. He always had been. The bald man stopped for a moment, breathing hard, eyes piercing the man standing in front of him. "You coward. Are you just gonna defend, or are you gonna fight me for real? I swear I'll kill you if you don't."

"You already have," was the indifferent response.

Ikkaku's eyes widened. He blinked once, then let the anger sweep over him again. "I told you not to speak to me!" he shouted, slamming the bottoms of his sword and sheathe together. "Extend, Houzukimaru!"

The sword obeyed, and molded into a staff. The blade at the end glinted fiercely in the sunlight.

Ikkaku attacked, using every technique he had up his sleeve. Unfortunately, there wasn't a technique he had that Yumichika didn't know about. For several minutes he put all his spirit energy into attacking, desperately trying to do some damage. His staff-blade hit only air or Fuji Kujaku, never flesh.

Finally, after a rogue thrust of Houzukimaru in a random direction, the blade sliced through Yumichika's left arm. Blood spilled from the wound, drenching the bone-white skin.

Spurred on by this tiny victory, Ikkaku surged forward, using all his strength to hurt Yumichika. He wanted to hurt Yumichika. He wanted to hurt Yumichika as Yumichika had hurt him. Houzukimaru's staff-blade met Fuji Kujaku, and Yumi was breathing hard.

"Why haven't you used it yet?!" the bald man shouted, drawing his staff back to charge again.

"Bloom, Fuji Kujaku." The staff-blade hit Fuji Kujaku again, this time scraping against the four sickled blades, causing sparks to fly.

"NO!" he growled. "Not that!" Ikkaku's foot connected hard with Yumi's stomach, and the slighter man was forced backward. "I want to see it! Why won't you show me?!"

"I can't," Yumichika coughed, breathing heavily.

"What do you mean you can't?!" Ikkaku cried, shoving his Zanpakutou forward like a lance. Yumi sidestepped to avoid it, but Ikkaku continued thrashing. "I'm your best friend, aren't I?! Don't you…trust me?" Ikkaku's voice had grown weak and uneven, and the rage drained from his face as he stood panting. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Yumichika was unable to meet his friend's eyes. "You would have despised me for having a Kidou-based Zanpakutou."

Ikkaku's eyes widened. "Kidou-based? Then what's that?" he asked, pointing to Fuji Kujaku and its four blades.

"This… This is only a fraction of my true power."

The bald man's anger snapped back into place. "So you've been lying to me for all these years?" he growled, advancing forward again.

Yumichika Shunpo-ed out of the way, materializing at Ikkaku's back. "Yes."

"And to the captain?!" Ikkaku wrenched his body one hundred and eighty degrees, swinging Houzukimaru as hard as he could.

Fuji Kujaku came down hard on the staff-blade, forcing it to the ground. Yumi took his left hand from the hilt of his blade and slammed his fist into Ikkaku's nose. "Don't bring the captain into this! Everything you do is for the captain," he hissed, swinging his leg under Ikkaku's feet while he was still reeling from the punch. The bald man was swept off the ground. He landed on his back with a thud. "Everything you _are!" _Fuji Kujaku barely missed Ikkaku's neck as he rolled to avoid it, getting to his feet. "There's nothing left for me. Even though I don't get anything in return, everything I do…I do for you."

Ikkaku stood rigid, eyes wide, as Yumichika stepped closer toward him.

"Why can't you see that?!" Yumi hissed, swinging Fuji Kujaku across his body, the blades slicing into Ikkaku's chest. He hadn't even dodged. "You've always been dense, Ikkaku!" The bald man staggered backward. "I'm always the one to clean up after you. You push me aside when you fight, and expect me to be there when you're finished. Have you ever _once_ given a thought to how that makes me feel? Do you have _any_ idea how hard it is for me to stand there and watch you nearly die?"

Tears streamed down Yumichika's face as he spat out his feelings. How ugly it must look.

"Yumichika," Ikkaku said, oblivious to the blood dripping from his nose and chest. "Why did you save me?"

"All these years and you don't know?" he said, voice no louder than a whisper.

The bald man looked at his friend, something urgent in his eyes. "You said it yourself, I've always been dense! I can't know something unless…unless you tell me."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because this is one thing you need to figure out on your own."

"You… You won't help me?"

"No."

"I can't do it by myself!" Ikkaku yelled, advancing toward Yumichika, who steadily backed away. "I don't want to be alone!"

"You have all of them," Yumi said, motioning toward the crowd.

"No!" Ikkaku growled, intense fury consuming him once more. "It has to be you! Only you!"

"I don't have the strength to follow you anymore."

Yumichika backed further away. "Don't leave me," Ikkaku begged, taking another few steps toward Yumi, who turned to walk away. Ikkaku didn't know what to do. All he had was this stupid Zanpakutou. "Stay! Stay here, with me! Please!" he screamed at Yumi's back, sprinting forward, breathing hard. "Split apart, Houzukimaru!"

As it sliced through the air, the staff disconnected and wrapped around Yumichika, who merely raised his hand to meet the blade. "Bakudo Eight, Seki."

The force of his own attack knocked Ikkaku backwards until he hit the ground, Houzukimaru landing beside him. He coughed, greedily taking in air. Yumichika loomed over him. The weight of his glare crushed Ikkaku harder into the ground. "Was that…"

Yumi lifted his arm and pointed a single finger at the man lying in front of him. "Hado Four, Byakurai."

As the blue bolt of lightning crackled from the tip of Yumichika's finger, Ikkaku shoved himself out of the way. Steam sizzled up from the patch of now-dead grass he'd just been laying on.

"You can use Kidou?" Ikkaku asked.

"Bakudo Sixty-one, Rikujokorou."

The six light rod prison clamped down around Ikkaku's midsection, rendering him immobile.

"I can use Kidou very well," Yumichika explained, walking like a ghost toward the trapped man. "But I refuse to use it at all. It's not the way we fight. I'd be the laughing stock of our division if I used it in battle. But this…this isn't a battle we're having. This is just an ugly excuse for us to be violent with each other. It's the only way we know to express ourselves."

He lifted his arm, opening his palm. "Hado Thirty-one, Shakkahou." The second before the ball of red energy shot from his hand, Yumi shifted his stance so the blast would miss Ikkaku. A loud explosion was heard as the flame cannon connected with the ground, sending grass and dirt up into the air. "Would you like to battle against my Kidou, Ikkaku? I think we'd both have some fun."

The six light rod prison dissolved from around Ikkaku's body, and he was able to move once more. No sooner had the bald man gotten his bearings than Yumi raised his hand again. "Hado Thirty-three, Sokatsui."

This time, the blast hurtled straight toward Ikkaku, who was forced to jump to avoid it.

"Hado Thirty-one, Shakkahou."

Just as Yumichika predicted, Ikkaku Shunpo-ed to the right, avoiding the red blast. Despite being ambidextrous, the bald man always _always_ favored his right side while using Hohou. This made it easy for Yumichika to Shunpo directly in front of him and grab the staff of Houzukimaru in his free hand.

The moment Ikkaku realized the Shakkahou had been a trap, he heard Yumi say, "Hado Eleven, Tsuzuri Raiden," and felt the electric current pass into his body through his grip on Houzukimaru.

Yumichika let go of the staff as Ikkaku fell to his knees, muscles twitching from the shock. Yumi lifted his arm and pointed directly at the bald man's chest. Tears carved rivets down his cheeks. "I told you to ignore them," he muttered. "But you wouldn't listen. You had to fight because that was all you knew. And it was me who suffered for it."

"Yumi…"

"Sprinkled on the bones of the beast. Sharp tower, red crystal, steel ring. Move and become the wind, stop and become the calm. The sound of warring spears fills the empty castle. H-Hado Sixty-three…"

Yellow energy formed over Yumichika's palm, waiting to be released.

"Yumi." Ikkaku slowly lifted his head. The light of the Kidou spell illuminated the sparkle of tears in his eyes. His hand reached unsteadily for Yumichika's neck. Yumi didn't pull away. He didn't budge, his arm still outstretched toward Ikkaku, the yellow energy slowly fading away.

When Ikkaku's hand reached the bare skin of his upper chest, Yumichika thought he might melt out of existence. The heat from Ikkaku's palm burned over the scars. His extended arm fell to his side.

"I should blame you for everything that happened that day," Yumi whispered, closing his eyes at the unbearable memories. "Your recklessness is the reason I was…_defiled._..and _ravaged_…over and over again. Can you even fathom the pain I was put through? Do you know what it's like to have such filth and ugliness forced into your body? I can still feel it, Ikkaku. Just as clearly as if it had been yesterday. I can still feel him inside me, corrupting me, and it makes me want to kill myself. Do you know what that's like?"

Yumichika took a step back so that he was out of Ikkaku's reach. He touched his own hand to his chest, digging his fingers into the skin. "A part of me died that day. A part of me was stolen when it happened. But there was always that hope, as small as it might have been. That hope has been keeping me alive all these years. The hope that I would get that part of me back… And I knew that if I let you die, that tiny flicker of hope would burn out forever. What reason would I have to live then, if the only person who had the ability to make me whole…was gone?"

Ikkaku stopped breathing. He watched as rivers of sparkling tears fell from the violet eyes. Those eyes that were now staring into his own, painfully splitting his heart into pieces.

"I'm in love you, Ikkaku," Yumichika whispered weakly. "I always have been. Ever since the first moment I saw you. You're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on. Everything about you is so natural. Nothing artificial, like me. That's something I'll always admire about you."

Yumichika looked down at the sword in his hand. "Split and deviate, Ruri'iro Kujaku…"

The glowing green and blue vines shot forth from the sword's hilt and lunged at Ikkaku. They tackled him to the ground, violently winding themselves around his arms, legs and neck. Ikkaku didn't struggle as he was hoisted into the air, Houzukimaru still clutched in his hand.

"Is this what you wanted to see so badly you vowed to kill me?" Yumi asked softly, eyes scanning the vines. "Beautiful, aren't they? I've always been so ashamed to have a Kidou-based Zanpakutou. And you've proven to me what I feared for so long – that it would disgust you. I would have shown this to the captain before I showed it to you. I wouldn't have cared if I was kicked out of the 11th Division for it, as long as you were still in the dark. But since you're no longer in the dark, and the bonds between us are broken beyond repair, I guess it doesn't hurt to show you. You asked if this was my Bankai. No, I don't have Bankai yet. This is just the full extent of my Shikai. You've only ever seen my Zanpakutou in a weaker released form. I call it Fuji Kujaku for the very purpose of hindering its true power. You see, it hates that name. But when I call it by its real name, its full power is released. The vines are absorbing your reiatsu, draining you of your spirit energy. Once the flowers bloom, it means you are on the edge of death. Chewing the petals heals my injuries and revitalizes my reiatsu. That's why I put them in your mouth after defeating the Vasto Lordes, to restore enough of your reiatsu so you'd survive."

Yumichika stepped closer to Ikkaku, looking up into the wide eyes hovering above him. "Ikkaku…I couldn't lose you. I couldn't stand there and let you die."

The vines released themselves from around Ikkaku's limbs, lowering him back down to the ground a few feet in front of Yumichika before receding back into the hilt, forming a normal blade.

"I won't let you die today, either. If you want to kill me, that's fine. I understand. You've always been stronger than me, Ikkaku, so I know you can do it. I…could never do that to you. I'm too weak. And I love you too much."

Ikkaku was frozen, still unable to breathe. For a split second, uncontrollable rage swarmed through him. It blinded him from everything else. He couldn't believe Yumichika truly thought he would kill him. That he _could_ kill him.

But the rage subsided. Ikkaku _had_ tried to kill Yumichika. And as he looked into Yumi's eyes, he tried, with a silent gaze, to tell him that he could never do that. But the violet eyes were unresponsive. They were flat and cold, and sent a shiver down Ikkaku's spine. When the blood began dripping from Yumichika's lips, Ikkaku realized something was wrong. He noticed his own hand, gripped tightly around Houzukimaru, whose blade was… Where was the blade?

Yumichika took a few shaky steps backward, revealing the blade that had been thrust into his gut. Ikkaku stared at Houzukimaru. The blade at the end of the staff was covered in dark, red blood. Yumichika's blood.

"No…"

In the same moment that Yumichika collapsed to the ground, Houzukimaru shattered apart, its pieces falling down around Ikkaku's feet. Then there was only blackness.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: If you don't read the manga or haven't gotten to manga chapter 520, this chapter in my story may spoil something big for you. In my opinion, it's the best reveal in Bleach history. (See manga chapters 520-527 if you'd like to be in on the greatest secret ever.)

PS: Thanks for all the great reviews and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!

x.x.x

Yachiru was the first to move, practically flying across the field to the falling Yumichika. By the time she got there, Ikkaku's Zanpakutou had shattered and he'd fallen to the ground.

Next to move was Captain Unohana, who immediately Shunpo-ed over to where Yachiru was crouched over Yumichika. After crash-examining him, she called to her vice-captain. "Isane, begin level five surgery on Ayasegawa. I will assist you once I've examined Madarame."

The silver-haired woman obeyed and, with a group of Squad 4's best healers, began the surgery.

Meanwhile, Retsu moved to Ikkaku, who was unconscious but still breathing. Yachiru suddenly arrived beside her. "What's wrong with him?" she asked, face wet with tears.

"I'm not entirely sure. I've never seen a Zanpakutou rupture like that when the Shinigami is still relatively strong."

The pink-haired girl sniffled violently. "Baldy's heart was broken. That's why his sword broke too."

Unohana Retsu could heal many things. But a broken heart was not one of them.

All the people behind the Squad 11 barracks were in an uproar. They'd formed a tight circle around where the two Shinigami were collapsed on the ground, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening.

Captain Kurotsuchi had shown up again and managed to weasel his way past most of the crowd, intent on carrying out his 'research' on the events of the day. Byakuya blocked his path, however, and with a blazing glare, entreated his fellow captain to discretion. Mayuri sneered and backed away.

Rangiku and Momo were both in tears, while Captain Hitsugaya attempted, in vain and mostly against his will, to comfort them.

Soifon and Omaeda had put the Stealth Force to work controlling the onslaught of the crowd.

Captains Ukitake, Kyouraku and Komamura had instructed their squads to return to their respective barracks in order to lessen the mass of people.

Shuuhei, Kira, Iba, Renji and Rukia made it past the crowd and were now doing what they could to help.

There was only one person who hadn't moved. Captain Zaraki stood in the exact place he'd been standing for the past several minutes, mindless of the chaos happening around him. He watched Yachiru run back and forth between Yumichika and Ikkaku, her tears never stopping. He watched Retsu examine Ikkaku. He watched the Squad 4 members working to heal Yumichika. He watched all of this, unable to move.

"That is quite an interesting power Ayasegawa-san possesses."

The raspy voice of the Captain-Commander barely registered in Kenpachi's mind. The old man stood beside him, completely unnoticed by most everyone else.

"I say this match is a draw and your men may retain their positions, unless you see fit to command otherwise."

The old man disappeared just as fast and subtly as he'd arrived.

x.x.x

The sun set the following day, leaving behind it the darkness of dusk. Yachiru sat silently in a chair beside a bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. Every few seconds she'd look over at the bald man only to find he hadn't yet awakened.

The girl sighed, her eyes sore from crying so hard. She'd been holding a piece of paper in her hand for the past several hours, one she'd found stuffed in Ikkaku's robes after they brought him to the Relief Station. On it was a hauntingly beautiful picture.

When Yachiru detected the tiniest sound of movement, her eyes became fixed on Ikkaku's face. His head moved slightly as he fought off the sleep that had been holding him prisoner for the past day and a half. His eyes opened slowly and they were blank at first, staring at nothing.

After blinking a few times, Ikkaku looked around him. The first thing he saw was his vice-captain. Her eyes were bloodshot and she wasn't smiling. He was confused for a moment. Just a moment.

Yachiru jumped in fright when Ikkaku shot up, breathing hard. His eyes were filled with panic as he searched the room around him. But he and Yachiru were its only occupants.

"How do you feel?" she asked him.

He just stared at her before scrambling out of the bed. "Wh…Where is he?" he gasped, struggling to stay on his feet.

Yachiru knew it was no use telling him to calm down.

"Tell me where he is!" he yelled at her, leaning on the bed to keep himself from crumbling.

"In the next room."

Ikkaku hurtled himself towards the door, stumbling through the frame. Yachiru followed him out into the hallway where he stopped outside of the open door right next to the one he'd come from. She arrived at his side and looked in, her eyes meeting her captain's.

Kenpachi sat in a chair against the wall. His hair was down and flat against his face, and there was no eye patch covering his right eye. There would be no fighting today. He looked at his 3rd seat with a vacant expression.

Ikkaku barely glanced at his captain before seeing the bed on the other side of the room. Its occupant was as white as the sheets that covered him. The tiniest of movements were visible as Yumichika's chest went up and down as he breathed. Ikkaku almost collapsed in relief.

His legs carried him across the room, giving out just beside the bed. He took Yumi's hand into both of his own and let his shoulders fall forward until his face was buried in the bed sheets.

"Unohana was able to save him," Kenpachi informed him, not getting up from his chair. Yachiru came and climbed into his lap. "We were lucky she and her squad were there."

Low sobs filled the air around them.

"You've been asleep for more than a day. A good chunk of your spirit energy was drained."

"Captain…" Ikkaku's shoulders quivered. "If you're gonna kick him out of the squad, please kick me out too."

"No one's getting kicked out, you idiot."

For several moments, the only sounds were those of Ikkaku's sobs.

Kenpachi sighed. "The day that you didn't want to think about, the one from a long time ago… What happened on that day?"

Ikkaku's sobs turned into hoarse moans that echoed off the walls of the room. "I just wanted them to shut up!" he whimpered. "They were insulting him and I…knew he was hurt by it. I wanted to make them pay for hurting him!"

The trembling man let out another pained moan before formulating words again. "I was overpowered…and when I woke up…I could hear him screaming. He was screaming for me. By the time I killed them it was…_I_ was too late. He'd been…" Ikkaku couldn't say the word. He let out a louder, more tortured moan. "It was my fault! All my fault… I still hear him screaming for me in my dreams…"

Yachiru was crying again. Unohana had come to see what the noise was, but had stopped just short of the door, listening.

"And the other day…I was so mad…I said to him…I said…" Ikkaku fell silent as he repeated the words in his mind. _Maybe if you'd used your true power, I wouldn't have had to literally save your ass. _He let out another moan that shook the walls of the room. It was in the form of a single word: 'No.' He screamed it over and over again until his voice gave out. Yumichika's entire arm was clutched in Ikkaku's fingers. It was drenched in his tears.

"Is that how he got those scars?" Yachiru asked.

Ikkaku stopped quivering and slowly turned to look at her. His eyes were narrow, but they penetrated with the force of a thousand swords. Just as she was about to apologize for her words, something caught Ikkaku's eye and he looked away.

Fuji… _Ruri'iro _Kujaku was propped up against the wall next to the bed. Ikkaku reached for it and took it into his hands. He thought he knew what this sword could do. He thought he knew what Yumichika could do. He'd been wrong. He'd underestimated. For a hundred years he'd underestimated. He'd been a total idiot for an entire century. A poor excuse for a friend. He didn't deserve friends. He didn't deserve to live.

Ikkaku slid the Zanpakutou out of its scabbard, examining the perfect blade. Houzukimaru made Yumichika bleed. Now Ruri'iro Kujaku would have its turn too. He held the sword out in front of him and pointed the blade at his own stomach.

Kenpachi flew from his chair and snatched the Zanpakutou from Ikkaku's grasp. Yachiru had reacted just as fast, hopping down from her captain's lap. Blood dripped from Kenpachi's hand where it clamped down on the sharp blade.

"Give it back!" Ikkaku cried, grabbing desperately at his captain's ankles. "I have to do it!"

Kenpachi grit his teeth. This was one situation he'd never had to deal with before. "Stop it, Ikkaku. There's not gonna be any of that Romeo and Juliet shit in our division. What the hell would you expect us to tell Yumichika when he wakes up and finds you dead?"

"That I killed myself out of shame and guilt!"

The captain looked down at his 3rd Seat in pity as he wept into the floorboards. "Well, that's just stupid," he sighed. "If you feel guilty then do somethin' about it. Don't run away from the problem by killing yourself. That's what cowards do."

Ikkaku's fingernails dug into the floor, leaving deep scratch marks on the polished wood. "I can't live with myself…"

"Tch, quit being selfish. The three of us have to live with you too. You're gonna make that real difficult if you're cryin' all the damn time."

Kenpachi cleaned the blood off of Yumichika's sword and slid it back into its sheathe.

"He won't want to see me anymore," Ikkaku muttered, barely audible. "He won't love me."

The captain scratched his head, debating on how the hell to approach this subject. "Well…I don't know much about love. But I know it doesn't just go away."

That seemed to calm Ikkaku for the moment. He stopped sobbing long enough to catch his breath. "Does it disgust you?"

Kenpachi knew that question was coming. "No," he said frankly. "The way I see it, it's not somethin' you can control. Just happens. I can't tell you to stop bein' bald, can I?"

"No," he mumbled.

"Exactly. Now get your ass up off the floor. You're startin' to make me feel sorry for you."

The bald man obeyed and pushed himself up until he was in a sitting position, his elbows resting on his knees. He buried his face in his palms. "I'm sorry for…putting you through all this, Captain."

Kenpachi rolled his eyes. "Don't apologize to me, dumbshit. Apologize to your vice-captain. If you had any brains in your head, you would'a known this affected her more than anyone."

Ikkaku looked at Yachiru with wide, bloodshot eyes. She stared back, and almost jumped when he suddenly dropped into a bow in front of her.

"Vice-Captain, I…I was only thinking about myself. Please forgive me for being a heartless and insensitive jerk! I'll gladly accept any punishment you wish to give me."

Yachiru bent down and pulled at his shoulder until he was sitting upright again. Ikkaku looked down, unable to meet her eyes. "You're real stupid sometimes, Pachinko," she said quietly.

He chanced a look up at her, only to find that she was on the verge of crying again. Before another second could go by, the girl flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Ikkaku froze for a moment, unsure of whether or not he was about to be strangled to death. He soon realized her action wasn't hostile, but in fact the opposite.

"If you do anything like that again…" she said as she released him, frowning with teary eyes, "I'll have to bite off your head."

Ikkaku stared, unable to do anything but nod.

Yachiru presented to him the piece of paper she'd been holding. "Here. This is yours."

He took it with shaking hands. All the colors made sense now. The green and blue were being suffocated and attacked by everything else around them, hidden away by the mask of purple…_wisteria. _Ikkaku couldn't help but see the sharp red, brown, orange and black strokes as himself. _He_ was the one suffocating and attacking Yumichika.

Now that he understood, the picture was even more disturbing than before. He couldn't bear to look at it any longer, so he put it face down on the table next to the bed. His chest throbbed with raw guilt.

"A bunch of people have already come by to see how you guys are doin'," Kenpachi said.

Ikkaku didn't meet his captain's eyes, just stared shamefully at the floor. "I don't want to see anyone."

"Tch, think I'm stupid? The only people who've been back here are me, Yachiru and Unohana."

Ikkaku looked up. "Unohana? Where is she?"

"I'm right here." The lady in question glided into the room, looking kindly upon the man sitting wretchedly on the floor. In her hands she held a crimson-hilted sword, stowed in a dark blue sheath.

"Houzukimaru," Ikkaku breathed. The painful memory of the blade covered in blood crept back into his mind.

"Your Zanpakutou has been slowly regenerating over the past several hours. It should be back to its original state by now."

Unohana held the sword out to him. Kenpachi tensed, not yet convinced his subordinate wouldn't try to harm himself with it. As Ikkaku took it, Unohana gave Kenpachi a reassuring nod.

"It seems a single moment of great despair does more damage to the soul than any physical wound. Your will to live was all but extinguished in that moment, and it was manifested by the self-destruction of your Zanpakutou, the material reflection of your soul."

Ikkaku didn't yet have the courage to speak with his Zanpakutou. He stared at it for a moment, wondering if it might try to speak with him. He heard nothing, though, so he set it on the ground next to him. _I'm sorry._

"How are you feeling now that you're awake?" the healer questioned. Without asking, she took Kenpachi's hand into both of her own and began healing the cut on his palm. He didn't object.

"Fine," Ikkaku grumbled, not really giving a damn about himself. "But…what about…"

"I've done everything I can for him," Retsu said, answering before Ikkaku was forced to finish his sentence. "And I can assure you he can make a full recovery. Whether he wants to or not is entirely in his hands now."

"You mean…he might not wake up?"

Retsu eyed Kenpachi, passing the question off to him. " 'Course he's gonna wake up. He's too damn vain not to. He knows it's ugly as hell lyin' there all pathetic like that."

Their eyes fell on the unconscious man, pale as a ghost. He looked like he could dissolve out of existence at any moment.

Yachiru put a hand on Ikkaku's bald head. "Don't worry, Pachinko. He'll wake up. I know it."

Ikkaku looked at her, doubt in his eyes. But her smile was so bright, so warm, so hopeful, that it flooded over him and he couldn't resist feeling hopeful too. "Vice-Captain…"

"He's in the Eleventh Division, after all. And we never quit moving forward or getting stronger. We never quit hunting for the things we love. Like a good fight. Or candy. Or that one person."

Retsu and Kenpachi looked at each other.

Yachiru held up her vice-captain's badge, pointed to the diamond beneath the number 11 insignia. "You know what this means?"

"The yarrow…" Ikkaku murmured.

"It means fight. That's what we do. And we never stop." Her eyes fluttered over to the form on the bed. "He's fighting. He won't quit till he wakes up."

Retsu let her fingertips graze Kenpachi's cheek for a brief moment as the others weren't looking.

"Right, Ken-chan? Re-chan?"

Kenpachi nodded.

"You hit the nail on the head," Retsu said, eyes locking with Kenpachi's again. "…Yachiru."

Ikkaku slumped, nodded his head. "Thank you, Vice-Captain. Captain Zaraki. Captain Unohana." Then he scooted up to the bedside and rested his head on it, staring at Yumichika.

By this time the room was dark, illuminated only by the glow of the moon from the window.

Kenpachi, Yachiru and Retsu exited the room, leaving Ikkaku alone with Yumichika. They walked down the hallway in silence, Yachiru in the middle.

"Yachiru," Kenpachi grunted.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she responded, rubbing her eyes. "Sleepy. I'm gonna go home. I'll update the squad. They're probably worried."

"They'll be happy to see you."

Yachiru giggled.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm glad Squad Eleven's our home. Not that Squad Four isn't great," the tiny girl added, looking up at Retsu.

Retsu beamed at her. "Squad Eleven is a place unlike any other. It has been since its beginnings. If the original Kenpachi were here to see it, I think that person would be very proud of what it has become."

"I think so too. G'night, Re-chan. G'night, Ken-chan."

Kenpachi patted her on her pink little head.

"And take your time," she ordered before shunpo-ing away. Kenpachi and Retsu were left alone in the dark hallway.

"First Kenpachi'd be proud, huh?" the tall man said.

Retsu's lips curled into a playful grin. "Indeed, she would be."

"And the first Yachiru. What about her?"

"Even more so."

Kenpachi shuffled toward her. He reached for the braid in the middle of her chest. But he pushed it aside. Placed his palm flat against her sternum.

Retsu gave a slight shudder at the warmth of his hand on her. She placed her own hand over his and took a step forward.

"Retsu…"

"Follow me," she whispered to him, her breath hot against the side of his face.

She stepped away from him, making her way down the hall. He followed her through the maze of the Fourth for what seemed like hours.

x.x.x

Retsu led them to a courtyard. Around another corner and they arrived in front of what Kenpachi knew to be her bedroom.

Many had seen the outside of the doors, but hardly any had laid eyes on their other side. And those who had the misfortune of ending up there accidentally were promptly blinded in one eye with a small fist.

Kenpachi gulped as she slid the doors apart and entered. He didn't hesitate to follow but planted his feet once he was inside.

She didn't seem surprised by this. Instead, she slid the doors back together and went to light a few candles. Soon, three small flames lit the room and Retsu was walking back to Kenpachi.

She slid the bottom of her braid out of its white holder. It came unraveled but not all the way. Retsu let her arms rest at her sides, looking up at Kenpachi.

He nudged the three bunches of silky tresses apart until they fell like waterfalls down either side of her face. And there it was. The dark red scar peeked out from the V-neck of her shihakusho.

Next his hands went down to her obi, which soon fell to the floor. He helped her shrug out of her white haori, which pooled around her feet.

Her eyes were still on his face as he tugged the neckline of her shihakusho open more and more until the scar was fully visible. He ran his fingertips over the raised skin. Then he let his arms rest at his sides.

Retsu looked down at her chest. She stepped out of her garments and moved further into her room. Kenpachi followed her until she stopped him with a hand on his chest. Her tiny hand was dwarfed by the landmass that was Kenpachi's torso.

Retsu pushed his haori off his shoulders and untied his sash. In a few seconds, all of his garments were around his feet.

She smiled at him, put her hand against the scarred side of his face. Then she helped him with the rest of her clothes. Now they were both naked, staring at each other. Kenpachi bent down and pressed his lips against the scar on her chest. She put her hands on his head and gave a soft laugh.

He croaked a "hmm?" from his spot, the vibration of his mouth tickling her.

"You're the same as you were back then."

"Ain't no kid anymore." He stood up to his full height, nearly a foot and a half taller than her.

"I know," she chuckled. She put her hand over his heart. "But this is the same. I'd always counted on that." Retsu looked deep into his eyes. "Kenpachi." She said it slowly, each syllable dripping with the weight of the title's significance. It was his name. His and no one else's.

Kenpachi kissed her, holding nothing back.

x.x.x

Yachiru shunpo-ed to the Eleventh and stopped in front of the main building. The doors were open, light and noise spilling out into the night. The guys were all still up. The combination of the sight and the sound made her smile. Home.

The tiny girl made her way up the stairs. When her subordinates saw her, they fell silent and stared expectantly.

Maki-Maki approached her tentatively. "Vice-Captain!"

She though their worried faces were funny so she smiled. Even started laughing. The men of the Eleventh looked around at each other, confused.

Someone whispered, "If the Vice-Captain's smiling, that means everything's gonna be okay, right?" in the back. Yachiru heard it.

"Pachinko's all right. He woke up. Yumi's still sleeping."

"Is he gonna be okay too?" Maki-Maki questioned.

"Baka! Of course he'll be okay, he's in Squad Eleven."

This seemed to cheer everyone up and they all started patting each other on the back. "Squad Eleven!" they cheered.

"There's another person we should all be thanking too."

The guys fell silent, looked at each other. There was only one face in all of their minds' eyes and it made them shiver.

"And not just her. Her whole squad too."

"Squad Four!" someone cheered. Everybody joined in.

"Hey, how about we all have a day off tomorrow," she suggested.

"Will the captain mind?" someone asked.

"Who cares?! I'm your vice-captain! And that's an order!"

"Yes ma'am!" they shouted.

"Ken-chan may not be back until tomorrow anyway," she supplied. "I'm gonna take a walk before bed. Don't stay up too late everybody!"

She waved and skipped out of the room, leaving her squad with their jaws drop.

"The captain's not coming back until tomorrow?"

"Then where's he staying?"

"Do you think…"

"No way…"

"But it makes sense!"

"Hey guys, I have an idea…"

x.x.x

Yachiru tiptoed along the top beam of a roof, humming to herself. She loved Seireitei at night. It was like a totally different place from the daytime Seireitei. It looked different and it felt different. So much more relaxed.

The Sixth Division barracks weren't far away. She knew exactly where she was, even in the dark. She always did. When she was near the Sixth, she searched for a certain reiatsu. Just in case. Kuchiki manner was much farther away.

She circled the barracks but couldn't feel anything. A yawn came over her but she didn't want to go to sleep yet. There was still some winding down to be done. It had been a rough day.

Just before she was about to shunpo in another direction, she heard a footstep at the other end of the roof.

"It looks suspicious, you circling the barracks like that," came the haughty voice. "Are you planning on trespassing?"

"I was thinking about it," she told him. "But it's just not as fun as your house."

Yachiru could practically hear Byakuya's eyes roll. He sat down cross-legged on the beam of the roof and pulled a small bag out of his shihakusho. He opened it and popped a few konpeito in his mouth.

The pink haired girl skipped over to him and sat down, examining the candy. Yep, it was the really good stuff. She stuck her hand in and came out with a handful.

Byakuya looked at her, annoyed, but she just smiled and dumped them into her mouth.

"Baldy woke up earlier," she said, voice garbled by all the candy in her mouth.

Byakuya had to restrain himself from scolding her for talking with her mouth so full.

"He tried to stab himself. With Yumi's Zanpakutou too. It was pretty scary. Ken-chan stopped him though."

Byakuya just nodded and ate some more candy.

"I think Yumi will wake up too."

"That's good." Byakuya couldn't imagine the Eleventh Division thrown out of balance. They were a fixture in Seireitei. An annoying barbaric fixture, but a fixture nonetheless. Always the first to a fight. He wondered if it had always been like that. He had a feeling it was.

"Can I ask you something, Byakkun?"

"If you must."

"You were trained by Yoruichi in Shunpo, right?"

The question seemed strange, given the circumstances. It made him curious. "Unfortunately, yes. Why?"

"What did she teach you?"

"Hoho techniques. The ways of onmitsu. She was a horrible teacher."

Yachiru nodded thoughtfully. "I bet you'd make a better one."

Byakuya's eyes traveled over to her, trying to gauge her expression. "Well…" he started, not wanting to disagree with her assessment. "…Probably."

"Could you teach me?"

Byakuya was silent. That was not something he had been expecting her to say. Once again, he couldn't tell if he was flattered or disturbed. Or both. "You want me to teach you Hoho?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yeah! I'm already pretty good at Shunpo, so we can start with the advanced stuff."

"Captain Soifon would be the best person from whom to learn Hoho."

Yachiru rested her chin on her knees forlornly and sighed. "I guess. But she's already teaching me lots of Hakuda techniques. I'll be able to learn Shunko soon."

"Shunko? That's a combination of Hakuda and Kido."

"I know."

"Who's been teaching you Kido?"

"I don't need a teacher for that. It's easy."

"Your division isn't exactly known for its proficiency in Kido. Aside from your fifth seat, I don't think I've seen anyone in Squad 11 use a single Hado or Bakudo spell."

Yachiru suddenly shot to her feet and held her hands out in front of her. Byakuya watched curiously as she stood still as a statue, eyes closed in concentration. Her pink hair started whisking around as she gathered energy, as if a breeze was sweeping through it. "Hado number eighty-eight…"

Byakuya barely had time to mentally register the fact that she was about to do a high level spell without an incantation before her eyes popped open, glowing with energy.

"Hiryu Gekizoku Shinten Raiho!"

A thick beam of pulsing, blue spirit energy exploded from the palms of her hands, shooting across the rooftops of Seireitei, momentarily illuminating the night sky. The resulting gust of wind nearly knocked them both over.

"See?" She gave a contented sigh and sat back down, grabbing some candy as her reward.

The noble stared incredulously at this little girl shoving candy in her face. "That was…a level eighty Hado spell. With no incantation."

"Cool, huh? Eighty-eight's my favorite. It's so pretty!"

"Does your captain know you can do that?"

"Sure does. Sometimes he makes me shoot it at him for practice and it's really fun."

Byakuya scratched at his chin in an attempt to seem calm and contemplative. But underneath, he was dumbfounded. The notion that this tiny Shinigami was gaining skills in all these different fields was just a little frightening. Wasn't she already a killing machine thanks to her training from Kenpachi in zanjutsu?

After a while he finally responded. "Why do you want to learn all these things?"

She shrugged. "I wanna learn all the ways Shinigami fight. There aren't many people in my division who know anything other than sword fighting."

Well, that made sense. She was a vice-captain after all.

"And…" she continued, her voice hesitant. "My name."

"Your name?"

"Yachiru. It means eight thousand styles. The person Ken-chan named me after knew all eight thousand styles of the sword."

"I didn't know that." It was certainly an interesting tidbit of information he'd have to add to all the other interesting tidbits of information he gathered from Yachiru.

"I want to surpass that person by learning all styles of fighting. I think that'll make Ken-chan proud."

Byakuya was surprisingly touched by her logic. He knew what it meant to bear the weight of a significant name. Kuchiki. And he was well aware of the meaning names carried in the Eleventh Division. Kenpachi. And now, Yachiru.

"Who was the first Yachiru?" he asked her.

She just shrugged. "I dunno. Ken-chan hasn't really told me much about him. Or her. I don't even know if it's a boy or girl. All I know is the first Yachiru was a great warrior. But I don't need to know more than that. That's enough for me."

Yachiru looked at him, started elbowing his side.

"So, you gonna teach me?"

"I'll think about it," he grumbled, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to get out of it, even if he wanted to.

"Hooray!" she squealed. "Arigatou, Byaku-sensei!"

Yachiru hopped to her feet and bowed. Her eyes were trained on the half eaten bag of candy. He sighed and handed it to her. She took it and did a happy little spin.

And in a flash, Yachiru was gone.

Byakuya stood up and looked out over Seireitei. So, the little demon wanted to learn Hoho. And Shunko. He wondered how close she was to achieving Bankai, a thought which made him shiver.

Now she'd roped Byakuya into training her. A Shinigami with mastery over every style of fighting known to souls… He was going to help create a monster. Or was she already one?

He wondered if Yamamoto knew how deadly powerful she was. She was most definitely a child prodigy on the level of Hitsugaya Toshiro.

But then he remembered, Yachiru wasn't exactly a child. She looked to be one, yes, but she was at least close to a hundred years old. Perhaps her childish form was just a cover, a ploy, to give people the impression that she was weak.

Yachiru. Eight thousand styles.

Byakuya stood up, straightening his shihakusho. No one had ever called him Kuchiki-sensei before. It had a nice ring to it. Unfortunately, Yachiru would never address him as such. He would have to live with Byaku-sensei.

"Captain!" came a gravelly voice mingled with urgent footsteps.

"Yes, Renji?"

The red-haired vice-captain huffed and puffed, as if he'd just sprinted here. "What was that explosion just now? Did that come from you, sir? Are you hurt?"

"Everything's fine, Renji."

Byakuya shunpo-ed down to the ground and started off in the direction of the barracks. Renji fell into step behind him.

"Do you know of any vice-captains who can perform Hado eighty-eight without an incantation?"

"Eighty-eight? Eighty-eight, that's… Which one is that? It's really advanced, right? Hinamori might be able to, but she usually says the incantations for the harder ones. And maybe Hisagi," he wondered aloud. "But I don't think I've ever seen any vice-captain bust out such a high level Hado. Just captains. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."


End file.
